It was Son No. 2’s birthday last weekend, but he naturally didn’t want to spend it rushing his hungover friends out and tidying up so that his parents could come and visit, so we very kindly left it till later in the week to drive up to celebrate with him. It worked out nicely anyway, because it meant I could get down to London the night before the premiere.  We’d have gone up north on Sunday if he’d wanted, but Wednesday suited us very nicely.

One way and another, we had an interesting day.  After he’d opened his gifts and done his usual ‘you shouldn’t have’ routine, and his girlfriend had got home from work, they climbed into the back of the car, I got into the front, OH put the roof down, and we drove off into the countryside.

Son No. 2 lives in a city, but it’s not far to go before you’re in the Derbyshire dales and it’s absolutely beautiful.  We drove with the wind in our hair, past drystone walls and sheep and cows and derelict buildings which somehow managed to look picturesque in a way that our local derelict building just don’t, and we drove past a huge and peaceful reservoir, and we came to a delightful-looking pub where we stopped and found a table and asked for the menus.

I ordered the pot-roast lamb.

Yes, that is my pot-roast lamb.  Mine.  Not ‘our’ pot-roast lamb, my pot-roast lamb!  And we don’t even have a dog yet, to take the left-overs home to!  Great heavens above … I looked around the table.  One steak and kidney pie to my left, one lasagne and one steak dinner opposite - yep, I was supposed to get through that on my own!  Needless to say, I couldn’t do it, and when the waiter returned for our plates I asked him about that.

Waiter:  “Was everything alright with your food?”

Me: “Um … yes, it was lovely.  But, tell me, was I supposed to eat all that by myself?”

Waiter:  “Ahahaha!”

Me:  “No, really.  That was enough for a family of four!  Has anyone ever finished one of those things?”

Waiter (pause for thought with creased brow):  “I think someone did, once … ”

So tell me, why do they do that?  Why do they continue cooking over-large portions, when they just get sent back to the kitchen half-eaten?  Does the chef have a large dog, or a tankful of pirhanas or something?

Anyway.  After dinner, we all felt we could do with a little walk to shake everything down a tad, so on the way back we parked the car and set off up the nearest hill.  The place is full of them - hills everywhere you look, unlike here, where it’s flat everywhere you look.  It was quite a novelty!

I think it was about 300 yards along and a hundred yards up that I said ‘Oh fuck … ‘ and turned round to see how far we’d got because my legs had turned to jelly, but the others kept walking, so I followed on.  To be fair it was a beautiful evening, with the air all balmy and warm, and little flowers dotting the hillside among the fronds of bracken and the sheep gurgling to each other.  Son No. 2’s girlfriend asked me what the sticky stuff was at the bottom of the stalks and I showed her the little leaf hopper hiding inside and she didn’t freak out.

I didn’t wreck an ankle on the stones and ruts, and nobody’s stomach burst.  And eventually we did get ourselves down the hillside and back to the car in one piece.  It was lovely, and very rural.

The stile at the bottom was a challenge though.  I managed okay, with OH being very chivalrous and helping me down solicitously, and Son No. 2’s girlfriend managed too, desperately resisting all offers of help, but being helped anyway, quite against her better judgement.

Heaven knows what any passing motorist must have thought.

I’m afraid this week’s ABC Wednesday will be a tad shorter than usual, and not only because it is the letter ‘X‘ this week.  I spent so long doing the post about the premiere yesterday that I don’t have much time to fit this in before I need to leave for Sheffield for No. 2 Son’s birthday dinner.

So, without further ado, let’s get going!

This first one is a little bit of a cheat. You see, I’m doing Round 4’s pictures from around my house and garden, as far as possible, and these pots of Xanthan Gum are not in my house. They’re in Tesco’s.

I know for sure I have a pot somewhere here at home, but I can’t find it, and don’t have time to search.  I bought it because I was trying to find out what was making The Pirate throw up so often, and I’d cut wheat out of his diet, and I wanted to make him some biscuits.  Xanthan Gum is a substitute for wheat gluten.  It holds things together - not as well as wheat gluten, but it does its best.

Next I found some Johnny Depp movies I could possibly squeeze in, and when have you known me not to try?

You see, these movies are the equivalent of what used to be called ‘X-rated‘, meaning only adults could get into the cinema to see them.  These days, they’re rated ‘18′ in this country, or ‘R’ in the US.  The Libertine is an adult movie because the Earl of Rochester was a debauched rake (is that an oxymoron?) and indulged in all kinds of outrageous behaviour, faithfully portrayed by Johnny Depp. How could you not love that one?

Sweeney Todd is - I think - the first ‘X-rated’ Disney movie of all time.  It’s because of the blood, of course, and also the relentless murder and cannibalism.  Some might say it deserves the ‘X-rating‘ because it’s a musical, but I think Johnny sang very well indeed, and Helena Bonham-Carter, too!

The Brave is X-rated because the theme is violent.  It’s basically about a man who sells himself to be the star of a snuff movie.  ‘Nuff said, if you’ll excuse the pun.

This little fellow - the one on the right of the chewed wood - is a Deathwatch Beetle.  His latin name is xestobium rufovillosum.

Not a welcome visitor in any man-made structure containing wood, because that’s what his children eat.

This creature, however, is welcome in many households, especially mine -

Yellowswordfish is, of course, my own dear OH, or at least, the name of his blog.  And swordfish, dear readers, belong to the fish family ‘Xiphiidae‘!  Mr Swordfish is xiphias gladius.

Well, that’s him. Here’s me -

Well, part of me anyway!  This is one of a series of X-rays I had to have before my shoulder surgery, and after I told them I had a fragile neck. They needed to know if I had any actual injury or bone damage so that they didn’t make it worse, pulling me about, and I have to say they did a great job because for once, I didn’t wake with a headache.

That’s it, for this week.  A little shorter than usual, because I spent yesterday evening doing that mammoth post about the Public Enemies premiere in London.  Hopefully, I’ll be back up to full strength next week for ‘Y’!

I know you’re all waiting with bated breath to hear whether I got to meet Johnny again yesterday.

Well, yes, thank you for asking.  I did!

I am exhausted.  By the end of the day I was nearly on my knees with the combined effects of a sleepless night, the crowds, hours of standing, and incipient heatstroke, but it was all worth it. The man is incredible:  handsome, sexy, elegant, patient and generous to his fans - and just plain nice.

I had almost decided not to go because of my shoulders and the travelling, and then the standing around all day in what promised to be very high temperatures, but OH is a sweetheart and he took me down the night before and on Monday morning nice and early, he sent me into South Woodford tube station with instructions to have a good day and say hello to Heathrow Jen for him.  Now, HJ wasn’t able to get there in the morning, so her lovely friend Pinky met me in Leicester Square and stood in for her till she could come to meet us in the afternoon.

HJ very thoughtfully sent a little folding stool via Pinky for me to sit on.   So we sat, and we stood, and we sat some more, and we tried not to melt, and we watched the crews put up the decorations and security barriers, and build enclosures for the press and a little ’stage’ area for the interviews.  And the trucks came in to get everything ready for the outside broadcasting stuff.

And eventually it was time for the fun to begin.  The ticket holders for the premiere were let through to go in and sit down and the sun beat down and time passed. Very.  Slowly.

Most of the crowd were impeccably behaved up to this point, but as the time drew near, those at the back began to inch forward, and those of us at the front had to do some pretty neat footwork to stay upright.  There was a young lady near to us who - for some reason best known to herself - wanted more space than anyone else and she leaned and pushed and leaned until I was half a yard from my handbag and getting less and less space by the minute.   There’s always one, huh?

This young lady was very sweet though.  This is Kahlie from Pennsylvania, and she and her friend were behind us at the barriers.

Kahlie managed to get the coveted autograph on that magazine, only it looked a little dog-eared by then.  I’m sure she didn’t mind.  And if only all the fans were like these two lovely young ladies, there would be never be any trouble at all!

Then a man from Johnny Depp’s security detail came along to tell us that he’d be arriving soon, but that he’d be walking right by us without stopping because he’d have to go straight to the interviews.  However, he assured us he’d be back later,  and so we went on waiting in happy expectation.

We didn’t have to worry about not noticing when the right car turned up.  A crescendo of screaming erupted when Johnny arrived.  Sure enough, he strode cheerfully along the red carpet, grinning and raising his hand in greeting, but not stopping.  Having been warned, I was ready with my camera and got a bit of video for you, and you can see how jostled we all were by the wobbliness of it as I turned to follow him.  It wasn’t just the adrenaline, honest!

And so he did his funky stuff and then began signing for the crowd, but because he was late arriving, he didn’t have time to get around more than halfway before he had to go inside the theatre for the opening he was due to give on-stage.  A collective groan arose from the crowd and I hate to tell you that there were some very rude cries of ‘Johnny - COME BACK!!’ and suchlike utterances.

But being veterans, we simply waited, and then the lady next to me called a security guy over and quizzed him and he said, yes, Johnny would be back out again, but he had no idea when, it could be ten minutes or it could be two hours.  Ha!  Those in the know are well aware that he never watches the whole movie, and sure enough it was only about half an hour before he was back out and catching up on the signing duties, bless him.

To cut a very long story short, eventually we could see him approaching, nodding, smiling, and signing autographs.  Miss PushYouAllOverSideways wasn’t done yet though, and just as Johnny arrived and was standing right there in front of me, she leaned on us once again and I nearly went flying.  And I have to admit she did me a huge favour.

A strong hand clasped mine and held me steady, warm brown eyes looked over the top of spectacles straight into mine, and a voice said:

‘Are you alright there?  Are you getting squished?’

Yes, Johnny Depp himself reached out to steady me, and expressed a proper concern for my welfare!  Isn’t that something?  I tell you, a more warm and human superstar you could not hope to meet.  Amazingly, I found my voice in time to answer and thank him, but he has that effect on people. He stuns you, but also somehow makes it easy to respond.

*Sigh*

Anyway.  Needless to say, I don’t have a picture of this event. It’s a miracle I still have the camera after yesterday.  But here’s a picture of the delightfully pretty Marion Cotillard instead.

I thought she might go some way to placating all you jealous guys out there.

Oh - and there will be an ABC Wednesday post up later.

Watch this space.

It’s odd how we develop a liking for a particular number, isn’t it?  Most kids do, at some point, and my favourite was always the number eight.  I have no idea why.

Some of us carry that liking into our adult lives too, but I confess I forget about my favourite number for long periods of time until something reminds me - like Petra Michelle tagging me for a meme.  This one’s fairly simple: it consists of lists of eight things. I think I can handle that … but wait!  It seems to me that to do this properly, with my usual amount of waffling commentary on the whys and wherefores, I’m going to have to spread this over several days.  Don’t worry, I’ll try not to bore you too much and it’ll be easier on you all in small bites.

So. Today’s edition of the Eight meme -

Eight things I am looking forward to

I thought this one would be quite difficult, because my life is so unexciting, but having started to think about it, I realise my life is more interesting (at least to me) than I thought!

1 - Learning to use my new phone

Now this is inaccurate. I’m really NOT enjoying learning how to use my new phone. I looking forward to having learned how to use the damn thing.  OH bought me a new Nokia E-series phone yesterday and it is driving me nuts.  Nothing is intuitive and plenty of things are missing from the tutorial.  In addition to this, it doesn’t like talking to my Mac!

Aaaaggghhhh!!

However.  Once I have learned how to use it, I’m sure it will be wonderful. It has internet access and everything!

Supposedly.

2 - Going down to London

On Monday, I’m making the pilgrimage trip down to London to be in Leicester Square for the premiere of Johnny Depp’s new movie, Public Enemies.  It will be a long day in unpredictable weather - suggestions vary from ‘the hottest day of the year’ to ’showers all day’ - and I haven’t a hope in hell of getting near to the front because I won’t be able to stand being jostled by the many excitable young ladies who will be there all hoping for the same thing: to get near the front and meet Johnny.  Because of this, and the fact that it was a last minute decision, I haven’t even had my hair done, so if I DO get to meet the man, he’ll be confronted by a woman with red hair and a silver streak a mile wide, giving her the appearance of a startled and possibly insane badger.   But he’s a very gracious and sweet man, so he’ll probably betray no surprise at all.

3 - The next Johnny Depp movie

The aforementioned ‘Public Enemies’ - the dramatised story of one John Dillinger: bank robber and media star of the depression era.  And from the clips and trailers I’ve seen, John Dillinger was a very sexy, handsome and charming man, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Johnny Depp at his finest.  Should be fun, then!

4 - Getting Sid home

We’ve been waiting a while now, and it’s all the gardeners’ fault.  But the lawn is growing nicely, the fence is up, and there’s only a little bit left for my tormentors to complete, so Sid will likely be coming home to live with us sometime around next weekend.  To this end, I’ve been busily sorting, cleaning and tidying those doggy items which can be passed along to be used by the new boy.   Then all we’ll have to do is to walk around the house and make sure there’s nothing dangerous lying around - dog-proof it, if you like - which means putting away asthma inhalers,  bars of dark chocolate, and remote controls, cables, leads, cosmetics, medicines and mobile phones.  Although that last item might just benefit from a few tooth marks, it seems to me. Show it who’s boss, you know?

5 - Becoming more involved with greyhound adoption

When I had greyhounds before, there was no local group active around here to do things like Meet and Greets, and charity boot sales, or any kind of fundraising at all.  But now I’ve found two, and Sid has been coming with me to a few things and I’ve had a great time while he’s performed his ambassadorial duties.  So I’m hoping that Sid and I can continue parading ourselves in public to show everyone what a great family pet a greyhound can be.  It’s good training for his future as a therapy dog anyway - he’s met kids and dogs and trolleys and wheelchairs and traffic and loud music and horses and so on, and so far he’s been an absolute star, bless him.

6 - Losing some weight

Ah yes.  Well, you see, I was doing really, really well.  I’d lost over three and a half stone, which is … well, there’s fourteen pounds in a stone, US people, so you do the maths.  Anyway, the various trials and tribulations I’ve had to cope with recently - my shoulder surgery, tearing the second rotator cuff, losing the dogs, health scares, financial crisis, unhappiness, and just lately some serious conflict among some good friends that they’re looking to me to fix - well, suffice it to say that I’m not one of those people who can’t eat when they’re stressed, quite the opposite.  Today had me practically eating the plaster off the walls … but my clothes don’t fit and I feel ugly and huge and I dare not get on the scales, so I’m going to have to do something about that.  And once I start to lose a few pounds again, I will be much happier all round.

7 - My shoulders feeling better

You know, I have a suspicion that losing weight will help my shoulders too.  Shhh!  Don’t say a word.  It’s bloody helpful for me to believe it so shutupshutupshutup!   If you think I’m wrong, just don’t. say. anything.  ‘Kay?  Thanks.

8 - Going to the US

And a trip is planned!  We’ll be travelling to the US in October for the Columbus Day weekend ‘Greyhounds Reach the Beach’ event in Delaware.   It should be a great trip with good friends and lots and lots of lovely dogs and fun events and shopping, and it’s just a shame that Sid can’t be there too, because I think he’d love it.  But he can’t, so he’ll be going back to stay with his trainer again for the duration, and he’ll enjoy that too.

We’ll fit in a few other things as well, just to make it worthwhile, and we hope to see a bit more of the beautiful Utah scenery, and maybe some Tennessee too.  Details have yet to be sorted, but I’m sure we’ll have fun.

So that’s the first little list of eights!  Don’t go away now - there’ll be another one along in a minute.

Well.   A day or two, anyway.