There I was, sitting in the lounge drinking a cup of tea following an extremely casual dinner of minced beef with lettuce and grated cheese in soft tortilla wraps (it was delicious, thanks for asking) when I heard this cry from the kitchen, into which Other Half had just walked.

‘Ooh! Grated cheese!!!’

And lo! It was said in exactly the same tone as the other day when he said ‘Ooh! Naked woman on the landing!’

Should I be insulted do you think? I mean, I know the man does love his cheese, but this is ridiculous. What? I’m competing with a few left-over strands of dairy product now?