I was reading I’m Having a Thought Here this morning – a blog I just discovered recently which is nicely seasoned with quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean – and the latest post is about a woman who has a memory problem.
‘Ah!’ I can hear you mutter. ‘I have one of those! Can’t remember a damn thing lately … what were you saying?’
But it isn’t that type of memory problem. This poor woman remembers everything that has happened to her since 1980. At the time, she was about fourteen years old, and she’s now forty-two. You could ask her what happened on 9th October 1986, and she’d be able to tell you. Actually, if you asked me about that day ten years earlier, so could I – Saturday 9th October 1976 was rather a grey day and a light drizzle was falling. The temperature had dropped for the first time in a famously long, hot summer, and there was a hint of autumn in the air. I was wearing a long white cotton dress with orange and yellow braid trim and a matching hat, and an awful lot of relatives turned up at our house that we hadn’t seen for yonks. But the point is, I can only remember that because it was my wedding day. Ms Price can remember her 9th October because, well, she can remember every day – what, if anything, fell from the skies, and who phoned, and where she went, and what Auntie Nora said to the postman. OK, I’m guessing about Auntie Nora. You know what I mean.
But more to the point, she can remember the joys that day brought .. also the sorrows, and any hideously embarrassing incident that might have happened. Can you imagine? What if she’d been to the dentist that day and had a root canal? She’d remember every last second of the fear, the pain, and the wobbly, adrenaline-fuelled exit from the chair. She’d even remember reaching for the aspirin as the anaesthetic wore off.
Just lately, being on the wrong side of fifty, I’ve worried a bit about my memory. I’ll be taking The Princess to do her duty as a PAT dog today, and we’ll be visiting Alzheimer’s sufferers, and well, you know … you can’t help but think. But my slight forgetfulness is actually fairly common in women my age, and I don’t sleep well, either, so that’s probably a contributing factor, and I am well aware that the ability to forget can actually be a Very Good Thing.
It’s not just the fact that I don’t remember all of the pain and grief and humiliation in my life, although that is, of course, a huge relief. I also consider it a gift that I’ve always been able to pretty much forget the content of a movie or a book. Of course, I remember the premise and a vague outline of the plot, but the details are gone, and this means I can go back and enjoy a favourite many times over before it begins to pall. Obviously, the more often I read or watch, the more I remember, because that’s the way memory works, but – just as an example – I’ve now watched ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’ five times and I’m not tired of it yet. ‘Curse of the Black Pearl’ … guess what? I can’t remember how many times I’ve watched it, but it’s more than five, and I’d happily sit down this evening and watch it again. One of my sons, however, has an incredibly good memory and hates to watch a movie more than once because he can remember it all far too well.
It just goes to show, once again, that you can have too much of a good thing. An excellent memory is an asset, but an infallible memory must feel like a curse.
That’s a very good way to look at it. I think remembering all those details would be quite frustrating, actually.
My mom has Alzheimer’s. She’s at a pretty good stage right now. She can’t remember us but she’s happy and healthy in every other way. She also can’t walk anymore, which surprised me … apparently she’s forgotten how to do that. But we just take it one day at a time. In the beginning it was a lot worse, now we just enjoy the moments we have …and thankfully we still have the memories.
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I’m sorry about your Mom. It must be very hard to see that happen to a parent.
I haven’t been visiting the Alzheimer’s place very long, but it surprised me at first how many of them seem to have forgotten how to walk properly, or how to sit down in a chair. And I can see that they have good days and bad days. The distressing part is when they have flashbacks to bad memories, that’s for sure. You can’t seem to comfort them no matter what you say.
There’s one lady who is always, always cheerful. She can’t remember a darned thing from one moment to the next but it doesn’t seem to bother her. She can’t even remember how to feed a treat to a dog, but she laughs about it and gets it right eventually. If I ever get Alzheimer’s I hope I’m like that lady.
I don’t know from Alzheimer’s yet, thanks be to God, and I feel so for those who live with the dreaded thing. To guard against ever forgetting what I refer to as “the Johnniness of it all,” however, I take my Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl — and my pirate — intravenously, thank you! For that reason I have happily forgotten how many times I’ve seen it … but I will never forget the first time I saw it. That’s because it changed my life. What a ship is … what the Black Pearl really is … is freedom.
Uhm … now, hand over the contents of that drawer and no one will get hurt! Just looking at the titles is making me slobber!
There be the chest … inside be the gold …
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Ahahaha! Surely you jest! Hand over me drawers? Never!!
And Sweeney Todd isn’t even in there – because it’s in here, right by the TV, being as it’s the last one we watched.
‘I’ll come again when you have Judge on the menu … ‘
Grrrrr!
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You have a nice blog with beautiful writing here.
I heard about the woman who remembers everything, and I can’t for the life of me imagine that! There are so many things we need to put out of our minds everyday. I imagine she’s very bad at meditating. I wonder if all that mind-clutter will someday drive her mad?
Peace – D
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Welcome, Momma – and thanks for the compliment! Yours is pretty good, too!
Indeed, I wonder if she will go mad. It’s either that, or she learns to cope, I guess. It may depend on her life experiences. If nothing terrible happens to her, she will probably cope, but … the death of a child, a serious or traumatic accident, and who knows?
We can only hope nothing like that ever happens to her.
Memories are funny things – as is life. I just published a post on memories myself! I notice that memories seem to fall into two categories – the good and the bad. Lucky for me, most of my childhood memories fall into the good category. I don’t seem to remember many bad memories – just vague memories of being lost on a beach and puking on my grandparents carpet after a head injury. Luckily, the carpet was a chaotic mixture of oranges, browns, reds and blues, and you couldn’t really see the vomit……I would hate to lose all my good memories.
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Welcome to you, too, DBM! Lucky indeed about that carpet! LOL!
I’ll pop over and read your post – seems to be the season for memories!
Jay:
Memory is such a confusing thing. Oftentimes we remember what we’d rather forget, and we forget want we’d like to remember. Strange. The Queen and I forgotten so many movies that running joke in out house is, What movie shall we watch over tonight?
Interesting post.
Have a nice day.
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That is so true, Swubird. And also, when you start to worry about it, you can remember even less. It can be very elusive.
It’s something most people give very little thought to when it’s working properly, but it’s essential that it manages our filing system properly or we simply can’t function.
I saw a clip of that woman on the web. I can’t remember yesterday too much and she can go back for years. I’m thankful that I can forget the pain of some things. What a blessing.
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Indeed, Valerie. I’m so glad I’m not her.