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	<title>Comments on: Echoes from childhood</title>
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		<title>By: Jay</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1886</link>
		<dc:creator>Jay</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:49:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1886</guid>
		<description>&lt;b&gt;Joe&lt;/b&gt; - Yes, what &lt;em&gt;will&lt;/em&gt; they remember?  The mind boggles!  

One thing I used to say to my boys that they absolutely hated was &#039;take what you want, and pay for it&#039;. I explained that this meant that they had the free choice to do as they pleased in this life, but that if they chose unwisely (for instance, not obeying the house rules) they would pay for that decision, one way or another.  Whether they&#039;re scarred by it, who knows?  Whether they repeat this to their own children, only time will tell.  ;)

&quot;Today if you throw out the phrase “Who do you think you are?” in anger … kids are apt to just go google themselves.&quot;

ROFL! So very true! And the sad thing is, they&#039;ll probably get an answer of sorts, too!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><b>Joe</b> &#8211; Yes, what <em>will</em> they remember?  The mind boggles!  </p>
<p>One thing I used to say to my boys that they absolutely hated was &#8216;take what you want, and pay for it&#8217;. I explained that this meant that they had the free choice to do as they pleased in this life, but that if they chose unwisely (for instance, not obeying the house rules) they would pay for that decision, one way or another.  Whether they&#8217;re scarred by it, who knows?  Whether they repeat this to their own children, only time will tell.  <img src='http://www.thedeppeffect.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>&#8220;Today if you throw out the phrase “Who do you think you are?” in anger … kids are apt to just go google themselves.&#8221;</p>
<p>ROFL! So very true! And the sad thing is, they&#8217;ll probably get an answer of sorts, too!</p>
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		<title>By: Practically Joe</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1867</link>
		<dc:creator>Practically Joe</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:41:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1867</guid>
		<description>The phrases mentioned in this post and in the comments are all too familiar to me.  I remember saying most of them to my kids in their younger years more so than remembering said to me ... but I&#039;m sure those words were stored in my brain waiting for the right opportunity to pass them on to the next generation.

So what will be the phrases the new generation takes with it? I&#039;m talking about the phrases that we, in our generation created.

My daughters went into instant depression after being scolded with these words ... &quot;That&#039;s it!  No watching Dukes of Hazard tonight!&quot; ... It still makes them shutter. (and they are moms themselves now) When their children get older what will they remember?

Today if you throw out the phrase &quot;Who do you think you are?&quot; in anger ... kids are apt to just go google themselves.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The phrases mentioned in this post and in the comments are all too familiar to me.  I remember saying most of them to my kids in their younger years more so than remembering said to me &#8230; but I&#8217;m sure those words were stored in my brain waiting for the right opportunity to pass them on to the next generation.</p>
<p>So what will be the phrases the new generation takes with it? I&#8217;m talking about the phrases that we, in our generation created.</p>
<p>My daughters went into instant depression after being scolded with these words &#8230; &#8220;That&#8217;s it!  No watching Dukes of Hazard tonight!&#8221; &#8230; It still makes them shutter. (and they are moms themselves now) When their children get older what will they remember?</p>
<p>Today if you throw out the phrase &#8220;Who do you think you are?&#8221; in anger &#8230; kids are apt to just go google themselves.</p>
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		<title>By: Jay</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1750</link>
		<dc:creator>Jay</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:40:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1750</guid>
		<description>&lt;b&gt;Jenn&lt;/b&gt; - Those words still get to us on a very primitive level, don&#039;t they, even as adults!  I&#039;m glad you&#039;re not in that job anymore. 

&#039;You can always be better than you are&#039; .. no, I don&#039;t think that&#039;s true.  At least, it&#039;s only true up to a point. I understand the sentiment, but it&#039;s like teachers telling us &#039;there&#039;s no such word as &#039;can&#039;t&#039;&#039;, which quite clearly isn&#039;t true either.  There are clearly a whole heap of things that each of us as individuals can&#039;t do - from stupid things like reach the roof of a house while standing on the driveway to building a nuclear bomb in our kitchens.  As motivators, both of those phrases will work with some people, but have the opposite effect with others.

&lt;b&gt;Sandy&lt;/b&gt; - Oh, for the ability to be so philosophical!  I might know it&#039;s not worth it, but things still upset me.  :(</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><b>Jenn</b> &#8211; Those words still get to us on a very primitive level, don&#8217;t they, even as adults!  I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;re not in that job anymore. </p>
<p>&#8216;You can always be better than you are&#8217; .. no, I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s true.  At least, it&#8217;s only true up to a point. I understand the sentiment, but it&#8217;s like teachers telling us &#8216;there&#8217;s no such word as &#8216;can&#8217;t&#8221;, which quite clearly isn&#8217;t true either.  There are clearly a whole heap of things that each of us as individuals can&#8217;t do &#8211; from stupid things like reach the roof of a house while standing on the driveway to building a nuclear bomb in our kitchens.  As motivators, both of those phrases will work with some people, but have the opposite effect with others.</p>
<p><b>Sandy</b> &#8211; Oh, for the ability to be so philosophical!  I might know it&#8217;s not worth it, but things still upset me.  <img src='http://www.thedeppeffect.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':(' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: sandy k</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1748</link>
		<dc:creator>sandy k</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:59:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1748</guid>
		<description>exactly - the older we get the wiser we become for sure . My mother does still get so upset over things- not at all worth it   sk

sandy ks last blog post..&lt;a href=&quot;http://spiritifelici.blogspot.com/2008/08/wake-me-after-hurricane-please-thanks.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Wake me after the hurricane , please... Thanks&lt;/a&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>exactly &#8211; the older we get the wiser we become for sure . My mother does still get so upset over things- not at all worth it   sk</p>
<p>sandy ks last blog post..<a href="http://spiritifelici.blogspot.com/2008/08/wake-me-after-hurricane-please-thanks.html" rel="nofollow">Wake me after the hurricane , please&#8230; Thanks</a></p>
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		<title>By: Jenn</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1747</link>
		<dc:creator>Jenn</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:55:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1747</guid>
		<description>I had a verbally abusive boss who used to use the &quot;Who do you think you are?&quot; phrase. Needless to say, I am no longer at that job, but the effect of those words was terrible on me, and morale, and self-esteem certainly.

My mother&#039;s favorite platitude was, &quot;You can always be better than you are.&quot; Which of course is true, but also means you spend your entire life analyzing what you do and whether it&#039;s good enough-- which, of course could always be better.

Doesn&#039;t leave you too many places to go, I must say.

So I hear you!

Jenns last blog post..&lt;a href=&quot;http://cabbages-n-kings.blogspot.com/2008/08/fig-newton-angry-unger-and-birth-of.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Fig Newton, Angry Unger, and the Birth of Tyrone&lt;/a&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I had a verbally abusive boss who used to use the &#8220;Who do you think you are?&#8221; phrase. Needless to say, I am no longer at that job, but the effect of those words was terrible on me, and morale, and self-esteem certainly.</p>
<p>My mother&#8217;s favorite platitude was, &#8220;You can always be better than you are.&#8221; Which of course is true, but also means you spend your entire life analyzing what you do and whether it&#8217;s good enough&#8211; which, of course could always be better.</p>
<p>Doesn&#8217;t leave you too many places to go, I must say.</p>
<p>So I hear you!</p>
<p>Jenns last blog post..<a href="http://cabbages-n-kings.blogspot.com/2008/08/fig-newton-angry-unger-and-birth-of.html" rel="nofollow">Fig Newton, Angry Unger, and the Birth of Tyrone</a></p>
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		<title>By: Jay</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1726</link>
		<dc:creator>Jay</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 19:12:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1726</guid>
		<description>I don&#039;t either.  I know I use bad language now, but until the kids were adult I didn&#039;t do it.  And neither of them swear in the normal course of conversation, which I&#039;m very glad about.  Swearwords should be kept for emphasis and effect, and never said &lt;em&gt;to&lt;/em&gt; someone in anger. It&#039;s one thing to swear to let off steam, another to tell your kids they&#039;re &#039;fucking stupid&#039; or whatever. Not good.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t either.  I know I use bad language now, but until the kids were adult I didn&#8217;t do it.  And neither of them swear in the normal course of conversation, which I&#8217;m very glad about.  Swearwords should be kept for emphasis and effect, and never said <em>to</em> someone in anger. It&#8217;s one thing to swear to let off steam, another to tell your kids they&#8217;re &#8216;fucking stupid&#8217; or whatever. Not good.</p>
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		<title>By: Natural</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1721</link>
		<dc:creator>Natural</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 13:23:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1721</guid>
		<description>classic is right: Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about‘. 

I think I&#039;ve even said that one myself, even jokingly.

I don&#039;t understand parents who curse at their kids or even use profanity around them, so disrespectful.

I&#039;d be crushed into a heap if my mom (or father I don&#039;t care for too much)cursed at me.  Maybe I&#039;m too sensitive...words hurt...I rather you beat my @$$..the pain goes away a lot quicker.

Naturals last blog post..&lt;a href=&quot;http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/traffic-flaw-in-design-or-drivers/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Traffic: Flaw in Design or Drivers?&lt;/a&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>classic is right: Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about‘. </p>
<p>I think I&#8217;ve even said that one myself, even jokingly.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t understand parents who curse at their kids or even use profanity around them, so disrespectful.</p>
<p>I&#8217;d be crushed into a heap if my mom (or father I don&#8217;t care for too much)cursed at me.  Maybe I&#8217;m too sensitive&#8230;words hurt&#8230;I rather you beat my @$$..the pain goes away a lot quicker.</p>
<p>Naturals last blog post..<a href="http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/traffic-flaw-in-design-or-drivers/" rel="nofollow">Traffic: Flaw in Design or Drivers?</a></p>
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		<title>By: Jay</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1719</link>
		<dc:creator>Jay</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:31:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1719</guid>
		<description>&lt;b&gt;Scratch&lt;/b&gt; - Thank you - I&#039;ve been to read it, and I&#039;ve left you a comment there, but good grief!  I can&#039;t imagine why your Mom thought that saying that to you would help!  Hugs to you, my friend!  

I hope what I&#039;ve said doesn&#039;t sound as if I&#039;m judging your Mom - I just meant that I think I know how she feels, and why she may have said what she did.  I believe that understanding can help to heal.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><b>Scratch</b> &#8211; Thank you &#8211; I&#8217;ve been to read it, and I&#8217;ve left you a comment there, but good grief!  I can&#8217;t imagine why your Mom thought that saying that to you would help!  Hugs to you, my friend!  </p>
<p>I hope what I&#8217;ve said doesn&#8217;t sound as if I&#8217;m judging your Mom &#8211; I just meant that I think I know how she feels, and why she may have said what she did.  I believe that understanding can help to heal.</p>
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		<title>By: Scratch Bags</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1718</link>
		<dc:creator>Scratch Bags</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 11:26:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1718</guid>
		<description>I wanted to delete this post from my blog because it got a little too personal but then I thought that this was blogospehere, and no one is ever going to judge me or any of my family members. So, I let it be. Here is the post http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/2008/06/16/words-ripped-me-apart/.

I still don&#039;t know why I wrote it.:)

Scratch Bagss last blog post..&lt;a href=&quot;http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/my-familymy-movie/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;My Family.My Movie.&lt;/a&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I wanted to delete this post from my blog because it got a little too personal but then I thought that this was blogospehere, and no one is ever going to judge me or any of my family members. So, I let it be. Here is the post <a href="http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/2008/06/16/words-ripped-me-apart/" rel="nofollow">http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/2008/06/16/words-ripped-me-apart/</a>.</p>
<p>I still don&#8217;t know why I wrote it.:)</p>
<p>Scratch Bagss last blog post..<a href="http://scratchbags.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/my-familymy-movie/" rel="nofollow">My Family.My Movie.</a></p>
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		<title>By: Jay</title>
		<link>http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/comment-page-1/#comment-1715</link>
		<dc:creator>Jay</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:06:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedeppeffect.com/374/echoes-from-childhood/#comment-1715</guid>
		<description>&lt;b&gt;Scratch&lt;/b&gt; - I think you&#039;re right.  These things can cause a rift.  As a child you are dependent and tend to accept your parents as they are. You don&#039;t have a choice.  As you grow and remember and think about what has happened you wonder why or how they could have said such things.  All we can do is remember we&#039;re none of us perfect and try to forgive, or at least come to terms with it.  I must go look up your post!  I&#039;m sure you have something very insightful to say.

&lt;B&gt;DM&lt;/b&gt; - If you can&#039;t remember it means one of two things: either nothing terrible happened to you, or it was SO terrible you&#039;ve wiped it from your memory! Seriously, sometimes we only remember incidents from our own childhood when we have children ourselves.  I would find my own memories surfacing when my kids were the same age as when something happened to me.  

And I&#039;m older than you, so my childhood was even longer ago!  LOL!

I&#039;d say that if you remember shouting matches with your parents and can&#039;t remember why you were shouting, you had a pretty normal childhood.  No parents are perfect, but yours were probably pretty good.  ;)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><b>Scratch</b> &#8211; I think you&#8217;re right.  These things can cause a rift.  As a child you are dependent and tend to accept your parents as they are. You don&#8217;t have a choice.  As you grow and remember and think about what has happened you wonder why or how they could have said such things.  All we can do is remember we&#8217;re none of us perfect and try to forgive, or at least come to terms with it.  I must go look up your post!  I&#8217;m sure you have something very insightful to say.</p>
<p><b>DM</b> &#8211; If you can&#8217;t remember it means one of two things: either nothing terrible happened to you, or it was SO terrible you&#8217;ve wiped it from your memory! Seriously, sometimes we only remember incidents from our own childhood when we have children ourselves.  I would find my own memories surfacing when my kids were the same age as when something happened to me.  </p>
<p>And I&#8217;m older than you, so my childhood was even longer ago!  LOL!</p>
<p>I&#8217;d say that if you remember shouting matches with your parents and can&#8217;t remember why you were shouting, you had a pretty normal childhood.  No parents are perfect, but yours were probably pretty good.  <img src='http://www.thedeppeffect.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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