The dogs were tired as we walked back into the village this morning, having completed the long trek through the fields. Clearly, they also looked a bit shifty, because a K9 unit van passed us and a barking erupted from within.
Here’s the conversation as we imagined it.
Police Dog No. 1: ‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello – what’s goin’ on ‘ere, then?
Police Dog No. 2: Yeah – wait up, Driver-Monkey! Those mangy dogs out there look highly suspicious to me. Let’s have ‘em in for questioning!
Police Dog No. 1: What are they doin’ this far from the track, that’s what I wanna know!
Police Dog No. 2: Yeah – let us out! We need to go and do some serious sniffing of bottoms!
Police Dog No. 1 *mutters*: For goodness’ sake, Fido. Can’t you get anything right? It’s ‘time to sniff butt!‘
The K9 van disappeared round the corner, still barking.
Police dog No. 1 *faintly*: Can’t we at least check their ear tats against the computer?
And you know how it is. When a member of the police force looks at you funny, you immediately feel guilty. Those two lily-livered dogs of ours tried to hide behind us and look inconspicuous – which isn’t easy when you’re four and a half stone with legs like walking sticks.
But I’m beginning to wonder just what they got up to in their racing days. After all, one of them is a Pirate …
Wow. You speak fluent dog!
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..My Writing Buddies
A race fixing scandal, I’m sure. Or maybe copyright piracy.
Ruth Hull Chatliens last blog post..Taking Back the Process
Poor babies. How could they be guilty of anything? Except maybe, bringing home rotting corpses?
Babs – beetles last blog post..Another painfull experience!
Meleah – I do now. When we first got a dog I struggled, now the only thing I can’t read is their P-mail …
Ruth – I reckon that was it. Race fixing or piracy. I should look at the press reports for the years 1997-9 or so. That’s when the Pirate was racing.
Babs – Yeah, right. He did that again today! Do you think he’s worked out that he gets a good exchange deal on those long-dead bones? LOL!
LOL! I can just imagine what the Pirate was thinking
Peace – D
RiverPoets last blog post..Hi Ho Silver, Away!
Diver Monkey…whaa??? lol
I think you go it spot on
DrowseyMonkeys last blog post..I Miss Mr. Naked Guy
Ok, what I want to know is: Who is the good dog and who is the bad dog?
Mr. Nighttimes last blog post..Not so silly love songs. (A brief musical interlude before Pt. 4)
Police dogs who say “What’s all this, then?” OH MY. You’re too funny, Jay.
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this was a funny read, love this line
Can’t you get anything right? It’s ‘time to sniff butt!
if only dogs could talk
River Poet – I’d LOVE to know what the Pirate is thinking – most of the time! F’rinstance, why does he keep bringing me decomposing rabbits? Can it really be for the small cube of cheese? LOL!
Drowsey – It’s like this. What a lot of people forget is that canids (dogs) and anthropoids (people) have completely different sets of social signals. We got into the habit of calling ourselves ‘the monkeys’ when our kids were small and we were talking about what the dogs might be thinking, just to drive home to them never to forget that we are not the same species. We hoped it would mean they wouldn’t make the basic mistakes most kids make, like hugging them round the neck and staring into their eyes and kissing them on the head – and therefore running the risk of getting bitten. And it worked! But we never got out of the habit of referring to people as ‘the monkeys’ when talking from the dogs’ point of view. LOL!
Mr N – I think they take it in turns.
Jenn – I’m happy to have made you smile!
Natural – Thanks, Valerie! That one was a logical progression, really.
Fantastic post so humorous yet true sandy
sandy ks last blog post..Wearing my Friday smile!!
Thanks, Sandy!
Smart dogs huh? Or smart you? You and Drowsey should be given some special award. The other day she was talking cat’s tongue.:-P
Scratch Bagss last blog post..Points Of View
Scratch – Thank you – I think it’s the dogs that are smart, though! LOL!
Drowsey’s just all-round smart.