See the picture, ladies and gentlemen? That is the tidy corner of my spare room.
My name is Jay and I am a hoarder.
Yes, it’s sad but true. I’m what the MerryCans call a ‘pack rat’ and I keep stuff. All kinds of stuff.
We’ve lived in this house for fifteen years and it is stuffed with … stuff. Every room has clutter! Every cupboard and drawer is bulging! We have more storage space than the average small country, and it’s all full of stuff, and I hate it!
So, tell me – why? Why do I keep stuff that I know darned well I don’t want or need?
Well, for a start, um, someone else might find some of it useful some day (outgrown kids’ toys, superfluous kitchenware, curtains, bedlinens etc). Maybe. Especially the broken stuff. I mean, there are people out there just desperate for a Darth Vader with one leg missing, aren’t there?
Talking of which, I keep stuff because I’m sentimental. Outgrown kids’ clothes and toys and toddler drawings, ancient hippie jewellery from my youth, my wedding dress – which wasn’t even a proper wedding dress, being home-made by my neighbour from white cotton seersucker – hospital bracelets from when the kids were born, everything with any kind of fond association, which is …good grief, pretty much 90% of what I own.
To be fair, some of the stuff is still here because I collect it – pressed glass jugs, Depp memorabilia and magazines, movie posters, photographs, holiday souvenirs, greyhound collectibles, etc. That’s legitimate stuff, right?
Maybe another reason I keep stuff is because I think I might be able to sell it for cash in my old age. I know I’m pretty hopeful here, since the house isn’t full of antiques or original art or anything – it’s just random bits and pieces which don’t fit into my current collections, like, my old childhood stamp album for goodness’ sake!
Then there’s the stuff I keep because I have no idea what the fuck to do with it- stuff which I don’t want but isn’t worn out and no other bugger wants it, either. F’rinstance, an old Bronica with a ton of accessories, and a very bad portrait of OH’s brother. Yes, that’s the portrait in that photo up there, and he didn’t really look much like that.
I also keep stuff because I think I might want it at some point in the future – clothes that I’ve outgrown (in both directions), kitchenware, games, books … oh, I’ll just catalogue the house for you, shall I? Hang on, shouldn’t take more than a year or two. Shall I make you a cuppa?
Every so often, I have an attack of sanity and start sorting. Over the years, this has resulted in the relocation of an awful lot of stuff, but very little reduction in quantity. I’ll get started, all enthusiastic, and find that I can’t bear to throw the stuff out, so I make piles. There’s the pile which is intended for the charity shop, the one for long-term storage, the one to sell or put up on Freecycle, and the one to offer to the kids, friends, various relatives, or anyone stupid enough to take it from me and swear that they really, really want it.
And then I get interrupted or disheartened or tired and I stuff each pile in a separate box and, well, store it somewhere. Usually on top of something else. See that picture up there?
Sometimes I panic that the house will catch fire and all my stuff will go up in flames, and of course, part of me would be wringing my hands and freaking out at the loss of it all, but a tiny cowering-in-the-corner-with-a-box-over-its-head part of me would be secretly relieved, because all of this worrysome stuff would be gone.
I have four sewing machines, for fuck’s sake – two of them broken, and one so ancient that it has long outlived its usefulness … but … but …well, it’s pretty, and it reminds me of my childhood!
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi!
Today, I’m going to start de-cluttering. Again.
Wish me luck, fellow bloggers – and may the Force be with me.
It’s the stuff of nightmares, I tell you.
I’m a fellow hoarder, so I have no helpful advice for you. My husband unnerves me by being the opposite. Between ourselves *whispers* I’ve sometimes gone and looked in the bin to see what’s been thrown out, and even *barely inaudible now* taken things back out of the bin! I’m so ashamed.
However I’m about to get a new colleague at work so spent half of yesterday clearing out the filing cabinet in his honour – two bin bags of shredded stuff later I did feel cleansed!
AnneDroids last blog post..They will soar on wings like eagles.
I used to be like you, more so than I am now. It took me awhile but I realized the anxiety of keeping all that stuff was greater than the anxiety of losing it. My first lesson was from nature itself, when melting snow leaked into the basement of a house we were renting and ruined many, many boxes of photos, kid’s stuff, and papers. And the world didn’t stop turning.
I now box up books I’ve no intention of reading again. I either donate them to Goodwill or send them to my sister in TX. And the world didn’t stop turning.
I shred the papers I don’t need, break down and recycle cardboard boxes, sell off or donate things. And the world didn’t stop turning.
Amazing.
I wish you well, though, because the first thing you have to do is let go of some things. Get a friend to help who has no emotional attachment, like they do on those home shows like Clean Sweep. Make piles of keep/sell/trash. Be honest. Keep the wedding dress, for goodness sake (no matter what kind it is – you’d hate letting that go), but let go of the “stuff.”
Peace – D
RiverPoets last blog post..New Outlook
That looks like a room in my house AFTER a tidy up !!
Yeah I know that says a lot more about me than it does about you.
Use that house fire idea to be strong and finally throw out the junk but watch out for AnneDroid nicking it all for her house !!
Silverbacks last blog post..10 Items, More Or Less
Oh, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I recently did a huge purge of our basement (aka the place where all things go to die and collect dust). Over 50 (yes, fifty) bags to either Goodwill or garbage later, I feel so good. I too kept everything from maternity clothes (from 18 years ago!) to every frickin’ piece of paper that ever entered our home. A shredder is great fun and cathartic too, but you have to be in a totally non-sentimental mood. I chucked so much and don’t regret it at all! At least now I can GET to the stuff I really need.
Good luck!
Maureens last blog post..I Am Sooooo Smart!
I think we are all horders …. me, I’m sentimental, I keep alsorts of little things….. maybe you just need a bigger house ????
Moons last blog post..A Wonderful Conclusion
I’m with you all the way. I throw “stuff” out into charity bags, whatever, and if it doesn’t leave the premises the same day, I’m back into it to see what might come in useful!!
We are supposed to be selling our house and “downsizing” but the housing market has gone right into the doldrums so the pressure is off at the moment. It’ll be ‘panic stations’ if we suddenly get a buyer! Perhaps that will do the trick. Oh well, I don’t need to worry then!
A.
Oh, you are sooooo echoing Mo! She said, today, that she was going to clear out the cupboards in our once-upon-a-time office, then Puppet room, now cat room. After about an hour I went to see what she had got rid of. Who was I kidding? She had tidied the bottom and middle shelves in all three cupboards. Where was it all? ….. All stuffed up on the top shelves!! That is clearing out cupboards if you are Mo – or maybe Jay ;O)
I have a friend who periodically goes on this mania of doing what she calls the 23 Fling Boogie. You get a garbage bag and go through the house discarding until you have thrown away 23 things. She’ll repeat doing this for days and days on end.
Inspired by her example, I sometimes do one single 23 Fling Boogie and then give up.
Maybe we should start up packrats anonymous.
Ruth Hull Chatliens last blog post..Ruth’s Picnic Pasta Salad
Anne – OH is the same!! Almost obsessively tidy! How we’ve lived together for over thirty years I’ll never know!
I usually catch him on the way out, by the way. Saves rummaging in the bin.
River Poet – That’s what I keep telling myself, that the anxiety of having it all here (especially since OH hates it more than I do) is worse than the anxiety of losing it. Trouble is, I ain’t listening too well, yet. I know I’ll feel better, and I know the world won’t stop turning. And I know I might even find some of the things I’ve ‘lost’ over the years but I’m pretty sure are still here somewhere. That would be a bonus, huh?
Silverback – Good thinking. I’ll keep muttering to myself ‘House fire, house fire … ‘ as I’m sorting. It’s true enough that if there was a fire here right now, I wouldn’t know what to grab first and all the ‘stuff’ would slow me down. House fire. House fire.
Maureen – Oh, well done! I shall throw myself into the task with renewed energy! Hampered as I am with a rotator cuff injury and dodgy neck, it won’t be a lot of energy, but I’ll do my best!
Moon – Yes, I got the impression you were something of a romantic.
Anne – I do that too! LOL!!
We are supposed to be thinking about moving, but all this stuff puts me off even thinking about it. It’s scary … Good luck with the house sale!
LUCK!!! (I hate decluttering too…)
I have a rule. If I haven’t looked at it, used it, or worn it in a year or more…I probably never will. And, out it goes!!
Angis last blog post..I Was Robbed!
Hi, Jay! I’m a hoarder, too. I like stuff. My family’s best times together were going to flea markets and thrift stores looking for stuff. I AM trying to pare it back. But then new stuff comes in.
It’s a constant battle.
Jenns last blog post..You are Entering… the T-Shirt Zone
Arghhhhhhh, I have a hubby like this, used to drive me nuts (he also has his childhood stamp album hoarded). Every plane boarding ticket (he flies every week), concert ticket, restraunt receipt, cinema ticket stub, right up and through to every single shirt he’s ever bought dating from the late sixties onwards.
I found a solution. I chuck everything out on the week he works in London (evil grin), the mad thing is, I started doing this seven years ago, and he still hasn’t even noticed it yet. Teehee.
Honestly, that’s VERY tidy – you should see some parts of our house. My parents moved out (to a house built in the garden) and we moved in – - but all the accumulated stuff stayed. Every year I get a skip and throw loads of it away – but it never seems to get any less.
Daphnes last blog post..Reaching for the Moon
Jay:
You and my wife were cut from the same cloth. She keeps everything. Our closets are full, our garage is full, and we used to have a storage shed that was full. Thank goodness I finally got rid of that thing.
Hording gets on my nerves because I feel shut in. I can’t move without bumping into something. Stuff is under the bed, under the couch and under the coffee tables. I feel claustrophobic!
But I love her, and her stuff is all part of who she is. I told the kids that when we die there’s no money until they sell everything on eBay.
Happy trails.
Angi – Doesn’t work for me. I might still want it!! LOL!
Jenn – Mmm … I loooove thrift shops and boot sales!!
Shrinky – Oh, boy … are you in trouble when he finds out!!! ROFL!
Daphne – You should see the other half of the room! Seriously, keeping my stuff reasonably tidy is the trade off. OH hates the stuff, and hates mess. I get to keep the stuff if I keep it reasonably tidy, and keep one or two rooms in the house reasonably clear of it.
Heavens, you moved into your parents’ stuff?
Swubird – OH feels the same, sadly. I try my best to keep it down, and I have to say, without him, my rooms would probably be half the size they are today, they’d be so full of junk.
Love the line to the kids! LOL!
“I mean, there are people out there just desperate for a Darth Vader with one leg missing, aren’t there?” WAIT! Hold on to that one! I think we might have the missing leg! Or do we have a Darth Vader with a missing arm? Or is it a hairless Yoda? Hmmm. Not sure, but you could certainly get a little money for him at a garage sale!
SmallWorld Readss last blog post..Book Review: The Five People You Meet in Heaven
Better a hoarder than a slob. At least your STUFF looks pretty neat. And who is that gent in the portrait?
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Wrote an Entrecard Song so you don’t have to
SmallWorldReads – LOL! Maybe between us we can make a whole Darth Vader? Or maybe a Yoda with Vader’s leg? That should fetch something, even if only for novelty value!
Thanks for popping in!
JD – Yeah, well, that’s the tidy end of the room. I’m too ashamed of the other end to let you see it.
The guy in the portrait is OH’s brother – he died a few years back. But it really is a terrible portrait and doesn’t look like him. They’ve made his teeth funny. No-one likes it so it’s stuck in there, but we can’t seem to throw it away.
get rid of that old shit Jay!! go Jay go!! LOL!
Dawns last blog post..The last hummer
Well I’m a tosser . . literally. If it hasn’t been used in 2 years it gets the bin. Except for my precious red suitcase that contains the story of my life. That stays put. Good luck with the ‘relocation’!
Bainos last blog post..The First Rule of Book Club
I come from horders. I’m a horder. My daughter is a junior horder. If you figure it out, let me know.
Good luck!
Anndis last blog post..more holidays – or starvation leads to odd posts
You oh so sound like an extrmely tidy version of myself. I am oh so jealous!
Fatalists last blog post..Another day…
maybe its time for a yard sale……….
Thanks for popping by my blog today………..
Gill
Gills last blog post..50 + 1 Recipes for Onions………
ohhh I don’t collect stuff, but husband does. After 2 major downsizing, he still has more stuff than me. Sometimes he will tell me that should anything happen to him, I should just throw them away… wait a minute, why can’t he do that NOW?
The Real Mother Hens last blog post..When Things Failed, Expect A Smile!
Hmm…and Pandora thought she had problems. May the god of pack rats shine his/her/its light upon you and make your home safe for clutter again. Like Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”
Now, whatever you do, don’t try a Jedi mind trick on me, and make me try to clean for you.
Mr. Nighttimes last blog post..A Comedy About Bad Habits.
Dawn – I’m trying! I’m trying! I sorted out one cupboard and one bathroom shelf yesterday. It was a big shelf though – about the size of the average karate mat. Well … It felt like it anyway. And I threw stuff out!
I hope you’re proud of me.
Baino – A good suggestion, with one tiny problem. The whole house is my red suitcase! ROFL!
Anndi – Welcome! Nice to see a new name in here!
Ah, now, see, that’s probably the problem. My first memory is of sleeping in a bed with carboard boxes full of stuff between me and the wall. Not my stuff, my Mum’s stuff. See? Bred in the bone. I had no chance.
I’ll come over and see you!
Fatalist – Hello and welcome to another new name!
There is no way I’d be within shouting distance of ‘tidy’ if I weren’t married to OH. He keeps me from falling into the Pit of Total Slovenliness! LOL!
I’ll drop by your blog and take a look – I like the name already.
Gill – Hi – thanks for popping into mine! Excellent suggestion, with one tiny drawback; first I have to sort through it all!
I liked your blog and will visit again.
RMH – I don’t know, I guess it’s because the stuff is important to him to have, but not to pass along… me, I have plenty of stuff to pass along (I can see fights breaking out among my friends for the Johnny Depp stuff) but it’s hidden among the other stuff. Hey – maybe that is a good incentive to clear up? How will OH find the stuff he’s supposed to pass along if I kick the bucket first? I need to throw stuff out so he can find it!!
Mr N – Oh – how I wish I knew that particular Jedi mind trick! You’d be over here with a mop and bucket faster than you could say ‘I’ve got a very bad feeling about this … ‘
*Snigger*
Good Grief!This is some obsessive compulsive disorder. My mom used to be the same a few years back. She could never discard a single thing just because the thought the things may have some use in future. Obviously the house becomes a total mess this way. I am glad that she realized it and changed herself. As far as I am concerned, I have stayed in hostel for five years;the cupboards were small and there used to be just one bed box for stocking all the things. So I had no option but to keep discarding the old stuff and buying the new one. I am glad I have this habit. It’s only my books that I cannot discard at all, I live for them. I used to give away my stuff to guards, cooks, maids etc.lol. A total win-win situation I must say.lol
Scratch Bagss last blog post..Points Of View
Hi Scratch – The funny thing is, when I do travel in the motorhome where space is limited. I manage perfectly well – though I do have to bring stuff to cover all eventualities!
At home it’s a different story. I wonder sometimes if it’s because I’m a person who likes to put down roots, and I found that first house move so traumatic. I was very young and had about a week’s notice to get used to it. My parents must have known we were going before Christmas but they chose to keep it from us till afterwards and we moved on 3rd January – my brother’s birthday, poor soul! No doubt they thought it best but I’d have managed better with time to prepare. Since marrying OH, we’ve moved far too much, and I guess I maybe hang onto possessions because I haven’t been able to hang onto houses! LOL!
It’s something to think about. We’re contemplating another move now, so I’m going to have to get over this, or we’ll need TWO removal trucks!
Oh My God! I am The Same EXACT way. I save EVERYTHING!! I just cant seem to part with my stuff!
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..Wait! Isn’t that…?
Hah! I popped over here to thank you for stopping by my place, but I got a great laugh out of this post. MY WIFE is currently in the process of cleaning out the bedroom in anticipation of delivery of a new bed. It is amazing the amount of crap we keep for no sane reason, isn’t it? Thanks for letting me know we’re not alone
Suldogs last blog post..And, If You Get A Chance To Stop On The Way, Bring Some Chinese Food, Too
Well my dear – do they not say that the first stage of curing an addiction is to recognise you have a problem? Just say the word and I’ll order up a skip.
Yellow Swordfishs last blog post..Living With The Spider
Yellow Swordfish – You think one would be enough?
Suldog – I’ve passed the link for your blog to Yellow Swordfish, who is my Other Half. Maybe you two can form a support group?
Living with 6 homeschooled children in a small house has motivated me to declutter as much as possible. We hauled 12 bags of decent crap to donate and 8 bags of just plain crappity-crap-crap to the dumpster. And yet there’s still more to be moved out of here.
My dream house has built-in floor-to-ceiling shelves and pegs in every single room of the house.
elasticwaistbandladys last blog post..Sarah Palin: Our New Goddess On The Conservative Values Frontier
Sometimes I want to live in a sparsely furnished room without any cluttery distraction….kind of like a nun. I mean, I never officially took a vow of poverty, that just kind of happened to me all its own.
Definitely the wedding dress, the baby bracelets, and the Depp stuff is legit.
I feel so sorry for our kids when/if they have to clean this place out when we are gone. It’s stuffed to the rafters with … stuff. I can’t stop either.
Jennys last blog post..Greenville On Monday, Charlotte On Tuesday …
EWBLady – I think my dream house has completely clutter free room, big enough to provide proper storage and display for the real collectibles, and a small house in the garden for the stuff I can’t bear to get rid of. It would have to be at least two stories high, and extendable. ROFL!
If I were true to my Quaker faith, I’d do the sparsely furnished thing too. I should give all this crap away to people who really need it. End of story. It shames me.
Jenny – Not the glass collection?
Yes, me too. I sometimes think of that. Poor kids. I think they’ll just set fire to the house or something. LOL!
i have been running away from a closet like this for 3 months whenever I decide to start the sheer volume impedes and overwhelms me sigh
sandy ks last blog post..Germany – a baby seal peers out of his basket before being released into the straits
Jay I had to delete the picture just to read this post. LOL. (I cut and paste post into a word document and read at work…shhhh). I’m the exact opposite. I can’t horde, can’t do clutter. I watch a show here called Clean House and I don’t understand why people can’t give up their stuff. I know some of it is sentimental, but everything can’t be sentimental. Sometimes people cry because they have to part with their first lunch box. LOL
Naturals last blog post..Butt-to-Gutt Ratio Gone Wild
Sandy – That’s exactly it. I’m overwhelmed by the size of the task.
Valerie – I wish I were more like you. I didn’t cry at giving up my first lunchbox, or even my kids’ first lunchboxes, but I’m not far away from that end of the spectrum!
Nice photo Jay! I used to have a house with 12 rooms (yes 12!!) And every room was full. But then my son left home and my mum went into into a care home my daughter and I just rattled.
So – I sold it and bought a five roomed bungalow – it all had to go and I had to move on. I kept some things that were extremely personal – things from my childhood home and when the kid were young. That was 6 years ago and I still need to go through some of the boxes in the loft!
Move house – thats the answer at lest it reduces it – and ebay is great!!
Can I put the first bid in for the hippie jewellery please
x
kates last blog post..Hippie’s swimwear edition!!!!
Kate – We still have the big house, even though the boys have left home. We really like having two guest rooms! It’s somewhere for them to crash if they need to, and it’s fun having friends to stay. Some of them still have younger kids at home, so it means there’s plenty of room.
The hippie jewellery is just the cheap stuff. Remember those old beads which were made with ultra-thin copper wire and teeny tiny beads? I have a ton of that – all green and breaking up! Why do I still have it?
Um…. Jay? I’ll take the Darth Vader missing a leg!! (Yes, I’m a worse packrat than you are!! But he’d go nicely at work, in the mouth of one of my skulls!
)
And I helped out some… relieved you of a violin! (And I’m actually taking some lessons & playing it now!! Thanks!)
Jeannine – Actually, I think Darth Vader might have gone now, but if I find him, I’ll send him to you! It will amuse me no end to think of him on your desk at work across the other side of The Pond!
And yes you did! I’m so pleased to hear you’re taking lessons and doing well! Yay!!! Didn’t need too much work then?
I have the same kind of problem, I want to chuck stuff out, but I kind of love it all too… even though I have too much. Chipping away at it, is my current plan.
Coastal Aussies last blog post..Straight to you: mulberries from my garden
Oh dear its me thats the mess – I still wear the beads and I still make my own headbands too!
But on a lighter note – fuelled by your blog and my obsession with easy ways to chop mint leaves for my annual mint sauce project, I went scouting through my cupboards. And there it was – my old food processor from my wedding cake making days in the seventies!!! You should see it!!
Bear in mind we only moved 6 years ago so you would think I knew it was there (must have been one of the boxes I needed to unpack).
So today I have mint sauce, and am about to cook for the freezer – watch the motor burn out now.
I must blog about it – oh I think I just did!
kates last blog post..A bit of a learning curve!!!
Aussie – Chipping away is my plan too, I did my desk yesterday, got rid of a lot of paperwork. Paper is what I had sorting through the most – you have to read everything!!
Kate – I still wear some of the hippie style clothing. We have a wonderful little shop in the city which still sells all that stuff! Those lovely long embroidered Indian cotton skirts, and dresses, and shirts and blouses. Jewellery too – and even drug-related items, which are apparently legal as long as you don’t actually use them! LOL!
And – we still use the food mixer we got as a wedding gift in 1976! I suppose it’s still going simply because we really don’t use it very often. Good luck with your processor!
About the violin… my brother switched the bridge (which apparently was on backwards!) and changed one string, I think… otherwise it’s fine! I DO have the loan (when Brian gets finished fixing IT!) of a full-size one too. The fingering is a bit different so that’ll confuse me for awhile!
Thanks, though! I’m enjoying it (when I’m not completely frustrated!)