Over the years, I have been known as a wrapper of neat and pretty gifts. I buy paper which I think the recipient will like, and I find nice ribbons and labels and take care with the seams and folds and only ever use clear tape so as not to detract from the effect. I take pride in it.
So this year’s crop has to be the worst-wrapped set of gifts I’ve produced since I was around six. There are gaps. There are torn-and-stuck-together bits. The paper is unearthed from the spare room, dusted off, and used, along with a very strange set of labels and an assortment of left-over Christmas tape from when the kids were small and such things were considered exciting.
My packages are just awful. But, which one is worst?
Is it the small and crumpled one with the loosely stapled-together ribbon? Is it the flat one, gaping along the seams, or maybe the pretty, but slightly used-looking effort in tasteful gold with the Santa and robin tape?
Or could it be this one?
Note the nibbled appearance along the bottom edge (which is, in fact, a hole), the pathetic effort to decorate the vast area of black plastic with the left-over Christmas cards from ten years ago, and the completely inadequate ribbon.
Ah, well. It’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?
Or as we say in our house this year – between turning the air blue over our various aches and pains – ‘fuck it’. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Depp Effect.
Why worry about the details?   We will have good food, cooked by my two lovely boys, we will have good company, and no doubt we will have silly games.  Badly wrapped parcels can’t spoil our day.
Merry Christmas everyone!
And as it IS Christmas Day over with you now, I can wish you and Andy (and family) and very happy Christmas and New Year.
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I think your packages are perfectly lovely … I never even saw the flaws you pointed out … and yes, that’s down to the Depp Effect for sure. I wish you the merriest of Christmases, my friend, and the happiest of New Years, and I pray your shoulder is right as rain before you know it! I’m so glad you’re feeling better. God bless!
And now maybe I’d better try to sleep, as it is 3:17 a.m. (I tried to sleep but to no avail; no idea why) and I’ve promised the family waffles and bacon at a reasonably breakfasty hour! Give those doggies a hug from me!
~Jenny
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how’s the post surgery pain??I’ve been ailing for a week. wanted a pain free Christmas – nada but I feel I’ll make it – blessed as I am..make special meories..Sandy
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They look like I have wrapped them … damn right, it doesn’t matter one little shit how they look, it’s all about the thought ….. Have a great one xxx
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My present is lovely thank you – didn’t notice the wrapping! Hope you all are having a lovely time! Keep the ph’s going! xx
Merry Xmas and all the best for ’09!
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Merry Christmas to you and your family!
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They look great! I hate wrapping presents and am useless at it and so delegate all wrapping to Stephen, who does it perfectly. Only problem is, it takes until March to open them.
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I’m beginning to think we all make too much fuss over the less important things at this time of year. Just get yourself better my friend and the fact you bothered is all that matters.I love the way you decorated the dustbin liner one! LOL.What on earth is in it? Not an inflatable Johnny Depp and Pirate ship…for me? by any chance? Doubt it.
So great to hear your boys cooked for you and I’m sure you all had great fun.
Jesus, if that’s bad wrapping, you should see mine! Happy Boxing Day.
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You can just tell people that you’re wrapping one-handed!! (Even if you’re NOT!
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Merry Christmas and Happy Boxing Day (which it probably is there now!)
Thank you for my presents – We used some of the crackers today (NOT the fun balloon ones – they’re for my fun friends on Jan. 4!!) and the kitties love their gifts too! (Although I must say I probably had MORE fun with the crazed pink flamingo – at least I think that’s what it is! – They were playing the nutcracker suite on the radio & I was making it do ballet (very loosely translated!) while the cats watched me!!! Very funny!)
Hi to Andy, the boys & the pups too!!
Silverback – Thank you! I hope you’re having a great time, too! Happy New Year!
Jenny – Mmm! Waffles and bacon! Thanks for the good wishes – it’s improving nicely, and I think I may be able to sleep flat soon, which will be bliss!
Sandy – You poor soul. What a miserable time you’ve had lately! Sending gentle hugs and many good vibes your way. May the new year bring renewed health to you.
Moon – I used to fret about such things. Not any more! The bin liner gift was very well received! LOL! I hope you and Mrs M had a great Christmas – and are still enjoying the festivities!
Kate – I loved your gift! We used them on the table for tea time. Very pretty! Funny – one of the things I forgot to get was candles! Thank you!
Somnambulist andMeleah – – Thanks! I hope you both had a great time, too! Happy New Year!
Daphne – Ah – I know that type of package! I was grateful that most of my gifts were not wrapped so well! LOL! Had one or two, but my trusty William Henry pocket knife was there to help.
Jeni – The binliner gift is a leather beanbag chair for Ike. He was very happy with it.
Sadly, I couldn’t find an inflatable Johnny Depp – and if I had I’d have kept him for myself! Mwahahaha!!
Solitary WalkerHa – but I never mind it in other people, it’s my own gifts I get embarrassed about! Happy Boxing Day – and New Year too!
Jeannine – I can just imagine you playing with the flamingo! ROFL! Oh, yeah, it says they’re cat toys, but we all know who’ll get most fun out of it! Hahaha!
Thanks for your box – We had a lot of fun opening that! We’re not sure what the ‘piece of wood’ is, though – opinions include a mousemat and a cheese board!
I think it’s a cheese board! Like the design? That came from Dewey this year – I have one for ME too!
The gifts are absolutely fine! It’s obvious they have been wrapped with love, or you would have just put them in paper bags this year!
Hope you had a great Christmas!
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Gah! They’re awful! But you have a pretty decent excuse if you ask me. It’s Saturday here so I hope your Christmas and Boxing Day were fantabulous.
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
When I manage to download the pics out of my camera, you’ll see the tag my son put on his present to me: “To Mom, From the Only Person in the House Who Can’t Wrap Presents!” I thought he did a fabulous job considering he didn’t know where to find more tape at 3 in the morning while wrapping a Christmas present with birthday paper!
The gift inside the wrapping was a total surprise, and I only remember the wrapping because he made such a big deal of it. I’m sure your loved ones felt the same way! But if it will make you feel any better, you can come wrap my presents for me next year!
Peace – D
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THey still look better than my attempts at wrapping!
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OH you ARE hilarious! Even with a bum shoulder and doped up on meds, you still wrap far better than hubby. He is so bad he PAYS my daughter to wrap my gifts.
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas Jay!
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yep, it’s the thought that counts. i got a gift and the person told me that they were NOT wrapping it because i knew what it was. i didn’t want the paper anyway,i wanted the gift. lol
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