Every year, our friends and relatives are kind and generous enough to shower us with gifts of various kinds for Christmas.Â As a family, we have a kind of ‘spread your cash around’ policy, which means that we can get up to a dozen packages from one person – the philosophy being that it’s fun opening packages, and the more the merrier, even if it means one might contain – just for example – a vintage plastic cocktail stirrer worth about 40p, or a homemade bookmark.
So, you can see that the title of Most Bizarre Gift might be hotly contested in this house.
But each year, a box arrives from Maryland which we know will raise the bar another notch.Â A box from my good friend Jeannine.Â And this year was no exception.
Jeannine’s boxes are always a lot of fun to open, and we tend to save them till last, when everyone else’s gifts are lying in a sea of torn paper and we can all enjoy the experience to the full.
There were many amusing and interesting things in the box this year, including a bright green and fluffy moray eel, which The Pirate duly killed – and very efficiently too, but not until it had managed to smack him in the ear.Â I’m not sure quite what kind of noise it was supposed to make, but … well … it doesn’t do it anymore.Â Smacking pirates in the ear really pisses them off, you know.
There were some ‘real’ gifts too, of course.Â There was a lovely ceramic Sarah Snavely pendant for me, and for OH, a gorgeous silver swordfish – and a beautiful cheeseboard, also some unique and interesting odds and ends, like the pirate design fabric stemware coasters, and the Colts and Raiders travel tissue holders.
But even taking into account gifts from everyone, including the undead skeleton finger puppets, the magnetic ‘make a pirate scene’ game for ages three and up, and the temporary pirate tattoos*, the scary nutcracker Jack Sparrow, and the book about being eaten by sharks, I think this takes the biscuit.
So thanks, Jeannine, for helping to make Christmas a lot of fun this year.Â We love you!
*Yes, I will be using them.Â Wanna make something of it?