Now that spring appears to be springing, we’ve remembered that we have a motorhome.
We haven’t used it much for the last couple of years, because one of our dogs was just too elderly to get in and out without help, and the other didn’t really much like travelling, and anyway, it isn’t so much fun when it rains and you’re confined in a small space with two large wet dogs, so it was SORNed. Â Now we’re in the process of getting the thing out of mothballs and ready for the road, and OH was out there doing the many little tasks that need doing before it goes for its MOT, and he seemed quite happy until he came in and asked me if I had a programme to convert bar into psi, or vice versa, so he could do the tyres.
ME: ‘Yes, I do, here on my dashboard. Look! What do you want me to put in?’
He said he wanted me to enter ‘80′.
ME: ‘Eighty what? Bar, or psi?
OH: ‘Bar. I think it’s bar’.
ME: ‘Eighty bar? OK … ‘
I tapped it into my conversion calculator, and the answer popped up.
Me: ‘Um. Are you sure? Only it says you need one thousand, one hundred and sixty – point three – pounds per square inch’.
OH (a little uncertainly): ‘Well, you know, it’s a heavy vehicle … ‘
We decided that 1,160.3 psi was probably over-egging it, even allowing for the fact that a motorhome will weigh more than the average light van, and I asked him if he was sure that’s what the sticker meant.
OH: ‘It’s inside the door. Just where tyre pressures are supposed to be. It isn’t in the manual, but that must be it. that’s where it always is!’
He paused.
‘Mind you, it is in Italian’.
Oh, if only I’d started those Italian lessons months ago! I could have airily translated for him and sounded clever!
That not being the case, I suggested he pop out and write down exactly what the notice said, and then we’d use my desktop translator to get to the bottom of things.
So he popped, and he wrote it down, and came back in a little later with his piece of paper and dictated to me exactly what the notice said, and I put the words into my translator and after swearing a few times as it randomly erased my text or offered me Mandarin Chinese instead of English, I had a result.
ME: ‘Did you say ‘correttore di frenata automatico’?’
OH: ‘Yes, that’s right. ‘Correttore di frenata automatico – 80 bar’. That’s what it says. So?’
ME (taking a deep breath): ‘That translates as ‘corrector of stopped automatic rifle’.
OH (pityingly): ‘Your translator isn’t a lot of good, is it?’
We both then spent a good deal of time online trying to get some idea of what the tyre pressures should be for a motorhome built using a Peugeot Boxer 350 LX MWB HDi van.  I couldn’t find an official Peugeot site which had that kind of information, but the consensus of opinion among enthusiasts was interesting. Apparently you have to weigh the loading of each wheel separately and work it out according to a formula because you can’t just go by what the manufacturer of the base vehicle says – especially if it’s built on an Alko chassis, whatever the heck one of those is. One American motorhome site helpfully suggested that it would also depend on whether you wanted to take your collection of horseshoes with you.
In the end I said he’d either have to ring Peugeot or wait until the damn thing went in for its service and ask them, and we gave up looking.
A little later, I went out to the shops to buy milk. As I walked to my car, I glanced at the motorhome and thought I’d just take a little look for myself. You know, just in case OH had … I dunno .. missed something. Or something.
I opened the cab door. There on the door jamb was the notice in Italian warning me about automatic rifles – that’s the one you can see in the picture at the top.
I sighed.
And I turned to look at the other side of the door jamb … where there was a nice, clear, illustrated sticker telling me exactly how much to inflate both front and rear tyres and even how much to allow plus or minus that figure.
Pretty comprehensive, I thought, although I have to say it didn’t mention horseshoes at all. Still, I doubt many people in England have much of a collection of horseshoes, so perhaps that doesn’t matter.
I went back inside.
ME (smugly): ‘Whose a daft bugger, then?’
Fantastic or should I say fantastico!!!
Bless him … will you be taking the automatic rifle on your summer fun jaunts?
Well if you haven’t got horseshoes!……
Kates last blog post..College Days!!!
That is in so many ways a truly bizarre conversation!
But with a truly satisfactory ending
J.Js last blog post..Ah ha!
Thank you for the laugh. I needed it after having just written an commemorative obituary for a former colleague.
Hopefully you will be able to hit the road now, with or without the horse shoes!
Maras last blog post..Sophie (again)
Jay, I can’t believe you did a post on this TODAY, as I am safely tucked into the passanger seat of our RV heading east from MN to Florida. Brilliant post! LOL really had me laughing. I think our OHs would really get along. I was reading this to my OH as he is driving (we left home about 2 hours ago with greyhounds sleeping on beds on the floor and our car in tow. He told me I shouldn’t mention the fact that this time he had taken the bathroom scale and brought it down as we were loading things in the camper to weigh every thing…just because he was curious. (I am having a bit of trouble seeing what I’m typing due to the sun rising in my eyes here…so please pardon any poor typing). Anyway he has been all up in arms about the tire pressures and trying to find the right one because each place he looks states a different one. Owner’s manual 100psi, on the internet 90psi. When I read the over 1,000 psi we were both laughing. However, this sort of thing isn’t beyond us either…. we have had to sit and try to figure out some of the strangest things for this RVing stuff. Thanks so much for a good laugh. We will be traveling to our destination for the next two days and then spend time with my Mother who has cancer. The kids are at home taking care of the house and all. I didn’t know you had an RV and I amm (hit a bump…double letter!) looking forward to some good stories!
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Hysterical, Jay! Does he use a GPS? How would I love to be a fly on the wall for that!
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Pleasant journies, Jay!
Who’s a smarty-pants then?
All cars should have those stickers. I usually guess and then add a bit to be on the safe side.
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Great post! We have been traveling for the last 3 years in our motorhome, hope you have a great trip! I’m looking forward to more posts on your travels.
Kate
cholulared.blogspot.com
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Hey Jay – I have very fond (??) memories of that motorhome!!
So – are you going off anywhere fun?? Maybe I should pop over & we can take off into the ‘wilderness’!! (Just kidding… getting very busy at work now…)
There used to be a column in one of the women’s magazines years ago called “Mere Male” full of these silly conversations, very entertaining! Good luck with the MOT and holiday plans!
Ha ha! This sounds just like a ‘Mo’ incident! She can be messing around for an hour at something. Finally she will get all upset and say “Can YOU sort this stupid thing out for me?” I usually sort it in a few seconds, and it’s usually because she has missed the all important instructions ;O)
babs – beetles last blog post..Mumbling for England!
You should never mock a man, you should gently suggest that he might look in different places …
Moons last blog post..A true ramble…..
Kate – I guess so! It might come in handy … especially since we don’t have the horseshoes!
JJ – Sometimes I think we only have bizarre conversations! It makes life interesting though!
Mara – I’m sorry to hear about your loss, but I’m glad I made you smile!
The motorhome passed its MOT today, so yep, I guess once the service is done we can go on a trip!
Sistertex – I’m betting your RV is considerably bigger than ours. Over here in the UK they tend to be quite small mostly as many of the roads aren’t suitable for the big bus-sized ones. That’s why it’s cramped with the dogs inside… it’s only 20-something foot long. and narrower than the American ones, too. We’ll just be taking short breaks in it, I think.
So sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope they can do something for her. OH and I are both cancer survivors, though neither were particularly aggressive types, it still shakes you up.
I’m glad I gave you a chuckle this morning!
Petra – Yes, we have a GPS. She’s called Susan. We talk back to her.
Liz – I think most cars and vans do have them now, it makes sense, doesn’t it?
Kate – Your motorhome is considerably bigger than ours! You can get those big ones here but they’re not well suited to our narrow twisty roads. I bet it’s fun being on the road so long though.
Jeannine – Ah, well, see, we’ve solved the heater problem now. I still feel bad about that, but at least you won’t need to sleep in it next time you come, huh? LOL!
Not going anywhere special, just the odd jaunt out to see a few friends and relatives, probably.
Baino – I bet it was entertaining! Perhaps I should make these ones into a book on Lulu or something?
Babs – It’s good to know ours isn’t the only crazy household. LOL!
Moon – I only mock gently. And he laughed.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!
Great post, sisterwoman!
*high fives Jay*
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I loved the translating bit. So glad you thought to take another look.
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Ha, fabulous! I can empathize with your OH a bit on the tire pressure hunt.. sometimes it feels like they must enjoy putting all kinds of stickers full of bizarre, unintelligible information on the doorjambs just to confuse us.
I am excited about the Learning French website you recommended (thanks for that!), but I hope it’s a bit better than your Italian translator. Have to be careful what I say in the airports, after all ;P
pictureeachdays last blog post..ABC Wednesday: I is for..
Inflate to 1,160 psi… I have an image of a motorhome version of one of those pedalos with the giant wheels
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OH asked me what the tyre pressures should be in my 4WD he was taking to France for a week fishing then berated me for not knowing off the top of my head. I said why do I need to know when it is on a sticker on the door jamb! ‘Oh’ was the reply!
You slipped up there, you should have told him you’d just worked it out! ((wink))
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Well, at least you didn’t blow up the tire by putting too much air in. That would have sucked big time.
Now, back when I was a wee lad of 19, I dated an Italian girl, from Italy mind you, who came over here at a young age. I would occasionally eat at her home, where her mother would feed me with authentic Italian cooking, (she made her own pasta, from scratch) and deride me for not properly pronouncing the names of the dishes that I was accustomed to eating. While that is the extent of my Italian, I at least was able to go into the restaurants in Little Italy in Manhattan, and Arthur Avenue in the Bronx and order properly, for which the waiters and owners were very surprised.
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An hilarious post. Checking up often pays off – you just have to be very careful sometimes how you go about it!!
I quickly glanced at the title of your post and did a double take…. I read it as ‘Conversations with husband No 17.’ That’s an awful lot of husbands, some sort of record I am sure. LOL
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Jenny – Why, thank you! *Takes a bow* LOL!
Ruth – I know, and I so nearly didn’t!
Picture Each Day – They do, don’t they? I still don’t know what they mean by ’stopped automatic rifles’ though I suspect it may have something to do with the brakes.
I was listening to the Italian course while out walking yesterday, and it’s pretty good! I still prefer the online one, though, I think.
Somnambulist – Yes! Or even a giant balloon, floating off into the great blue yonder! LOL!
Taffy’s Mum – Exactly. Those stickers are great, aren’t they? I remember having to scrabble through the manual every time I needed to check the tyres because I couldn’t remember – all cars are different, after all – but now I only have to glance in the door jamb as I get out. Bliss.
Akelamalu – He’d only have asked me how! But I shall remember that next time.
Mr N – No kidding! LOL!
It must have surprised the waiters to hear proper pronunciation – I’ve notice that the way things are said depends a lot on the quality of the restaurant. An ‘Italian’ fast food stand compared to a top class restaurant, no comparison! It’s quite amusing.
Ms Soup – It’s OK, it’s a mistake others have made too! I’ve actually only had the one husband. I’m kind of used to him now, after thirty-odd years, so I think I’ll keep him.
Great post Jay – made me laugh because it is just the sort of thing that would happen to me, I would be the silly B and give my OH a laugh. A x
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SJ Anne – Oh, don’t worry, it’s often been me making the stupid mistake. I’m just lucky that OH doesn’t remember those moments long enough to blog about them!
Thank you for your kind thoughts Jay. I am on the way back home tomorrow so am getting ready for bed now so we may get an early start of it. We got there to find that my Dad had broken his foot the day we left, so spent some time taking care of issues for them. Was so glad to be able to help out some. They truly love the hounds and I think that was quite a lift for them to visit with them. Blew – our eldest hounds had to be rushed into the vet right away the next morning after we arrived, he has been having health problems, but seems to be doing well now. The Vet gave him some medicine seemed to help him immensly. I haven’t been able to be on the computer much, so I have a lot of catching up to do! Thanks again for your kind words, I greatly appreciate them.
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