And so we come to the letter ‘P‘ in the ABC Wednesday alphabet!  You just know I’m going to have fun, don’t you?  Especially when I kick off with my little collection of Pirates of the Caribbean movies!

But I’d better slip a few other things in here and there, so let’s have my own little Pirate posing with his plunder.

He does love his yellow toys, and will sometimes collect them up and just … look at them!   Who knows why?  Who can fathom the thoughts of a Pirate?  Maybe they look like gold to him!

And here’s The Princess, looking pretty in her pink and purple pyjamas

She doesn’t care that much for toys.  It’s all about comfort for The Princess.

Oh, and don’t forget to check out what happened when I let her have some peas, still in the pod.

But you’re waiting to see how Johnny Depp fits in, aren’t you? Well, do you know, I found lots of ways to include him this week!  Who’d have guessed it?

First, there have to be posters!  These are my mini posters.  You can fit more in that way, you know, and these are above the doors in our hallway.

Then there is my new ‘Pirates of the Caribbean, At World’s End’ poster!  This is one that came out of those huge boxes which were sitting in the office, and which I used in the ABC Wednesday letter ‘N‘.

I have lots of piratey stuff.  Much of it given to me by Depp friends - we do that, you know. We send each other stuff all over the place.

These are some of the pirate magazines which have been given to me by friends in America.

And this is a photograph which my dear friend Tennessee Jenn had done for me for my birthday one year in Rehoboth, Delaware.  They dressed us up in pirate wench costumes, which had no back to them, and then made us walk through the shop!  And they made me take off my glasses.  They said pirate wenches didn’t wear glasses, and I guess they had a point.

Talking of birthdays -

This is a Pirates of the Caribbean birthday card. It plays the theme tune when you open it.  Now, I ask you - how’s a wench supposed to throw that out?

Anyway.

There were lots of people taking pictures at the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere in London’s Leicester Square, and oh look! There is Johnny Depp!  If I were American, I could say ‘wearing his smart putty-colored pants’, but I’m not.  I’d have to say trousers, which doesn’t begin with a ‘P‘.  But still. Isn’t that a pretty sight?

And there are a lot of other things in that photograph which begin with ‘P‘.  There’s a lady wearing purple, and I can see pink in the crowd.  There are pointy shoes and paving slabs and posters, too!  I can even see pin-stripes!   And paper!

Have I missed anything?

By and large, people have a real fascination with balls, don’t they?  I’m guessing that something about them is deeply satisfying to the human psyche.

The photo above was taken on a family holiday to Watermouth Castle in Devon.  Those are my two boys having fun in the rain with a rather intriguing fountain, and learning some practical physics in the process.  They were actually rotating that big granite ball between them, something made possible by the fact that it was aquaplaning on a very thin film of water between itself and a depression in the base.   I really wanted to get up there and join in, but I hadn’t yet acquired my ‘fuck it’ philosophy and so I contented myself with watching, and leaning in to place my hand on its deliciously smooth surface to feel it move.  It was a very long time ago - my boys are in their twenties now - but I remember it very well.  How cold the water was!  And how satisfyingly smooth the sphere that spun gently under my palm.

It wouldn’t have been possible with any other shape, would it?  I mean, okay, you could do something similar with a cylindrical or egg-shaped stone, but neither would rotate in all directions as a ball does, and that is part of the fascination: the total freedom of movement, made possible by the globe and a few gallons of water.

I found that picture of my kids while sorting through old photos yesterday,  and it reminded me of the steel ball fountains they have in Sheffield city centre.

I don’t think they rotate, but they’re fascinating in a different way - see how they reflect the sky, the buildings, and the people walking past?  Aren’t they beautiful?  Passers-by often stop to stand and stare for a few moments before continuing on their way.

There was even talk of balls in the Johnny Depp forum I was reading yesterday.

And no, for the record, the discussion was absolutely nothing to do with Johnny in any way, shape or form, because believe it or not, we do sometimes talk of other things.   Anyway, this talk was about a very particular type of ball.   We were talking of how we had loved playing marble games as children.

How many of you remember playing with marbles?   For me, one of the strongest memories is the feel of them in my hand, cool, hard, and smooth.  Any marble which got chipped was usually thrown away because chipped marbles didn’t feel right, and they didn’t roll right.

Sure, they were remarkably pretty, most of them, but it’s the feel of them that I remember, and the way they moved.  If the surface was smooth and flat, they’d roll exactly where you wanted. If not, they’d swerve and jump and wiggle in an endlessly fascinating, though sometimes frustrating, way.  That’s balls for ya!

Lastly, a gift which was sent to me this last week in a package containing Halloween gifts.  It was from one my Johnny Depp friends. One who has such a fascination with all things Halloween that she can’t bear the thought of me languishing here in England without the proper means to celebrate it, even though she knows full well that I don’t much care for it at all!

It’s a worry ball.  Made of soft black rubbery sponge and with the skull and crossbones motif in homage to Pirates of the Caribbean.   I have no idea what to do with it, sadly, because I can’t have it anywhere the dogs might get it. It’s just exactly the right size to get stuck in a greyhound throat and choke them to death.

I think I’ll put it in the guest room with the miniature Jack Sparrows, the string of shrunken pirate heads, the tricorne hat, the Pirates of the Caribbean storage boxes and the Jack Sparrow throw - all gifts from my Depp friends.  The dogs don’t do stairs, so it will be safe up there, and I’m sure my guests will enjoy it.

So tell me.  Is there anyone out there who doesn’t find balls interesting in some form?  From soccer balls, baseballs, and snooker balls to ball bearings and ornamental stone balls on gateposts and balls for dogs and children, mouse balls and track balls and even beads and pearls, they are very much a part of our lives.

Or is it just me?

I’ve been tagged again - this time it’s Sandi from Holding Patterns.  She wants to know seven random or weird facts about me, and thinks you will all be interested in them too!

Hmm … I’m not sure how many more weird facts you need to know.  You already know that I am something of a Johnny Depp fan, and have one or two bits of movie memorabilia dotted about the place.  You already know that I love creepy crawlies and keep retired racing greyhounds as pets.  And you already know that I use colourful language …

So let me think.

Um.

1 - I love Paganini.  Something about that edgy violin music does something really nice for me. And the violin and guitar sonatas are truly beautiful. And the trios, too.  He was an interesting guy, too - possibly autistic, judging by the accounts of his life.  Bear in mind when listening to those links that Paganini is notoriously difficult to play. The timing seems a little off in the first one, particularly. You need to get a good recording to really appreciate it.

2 - I’m addicted to the old Patrick McGoohan TV series ‘The Prisoner’ and ‘Danger Man’.  I first became aware of McGoohan when The Prisoner came on TV back in the late sixties.  It was innovative and intriguing and I, along with a lot of other people, including OH, was hooked.  Later on, I looked up what else he’d done and found the old Danger Man series. It’s so dated, and yet there’s still something good there.  Sadly, the movies that he did aren’t that great, most of ‘em, but the TV stuff I like.

3 - I hate the feel of silk.  It seems to catch on my fingers and yet it feels oily to me, somehow.  If I ever touch any accidentally in a shop, I know what it is and I can’t rid myself of the urge to wipe my hand on something.  And I can’t get over the way it’s produced. You see, I hate cruelty to animals and it seems to me that people are only concerned about animal welfare when the animals are cute, exotic, or fluffy or feathered.  Getting silk off cocoons by plunging the whole insect into boiling water doesn’t seem to get them excited, but I hate it.

4 - I don’t drink.  Not for any moral or ethical or religious reason, but because I’ve had oral cancer and was advised not to drink spirits any more.  I was told I could drink beer or wine, but … I have a problem with yeast so that’s out, too.  Oh, well.  I don’t really miss it anymore and it can be quite interesting being the only sober person at a party.  Tee hee.

5 - I love to learn new things but tend to get bored easily.  During the course of my life I can’t tell you how many hobbies I’ve had or evening classes I’ve started but not finished.   Seed picture making, model making, drawing, painting in oils, embroidery, soft toy making, knitting, crochet, jewellery making, gardening, collecting this and that, learning languages, musical instruments etc … mostly I give up, sooner or later.  Photography and jewellery making - those are two that have endured.  And I still quite like crochet now and then, but I get bored.  Bored bored bored.

6 - I have never been to Europe.  Silly really, isn’t it?  I was going to go to France when I was a teenager. My friend and I had it all arranged and then my Mum vetoed it. She thought it was dangerous and played on my fears until I agreed to cancel it.  Since then, her early training has stood me in good stead. I am terrified of being in a country where I can’t speak the language fluently (serious allergies are partly to blame for that) and of all the exotic diseases you can apparently pick up at the drop of a hat.  She was a nurse and yeah, she did that to me.   But I’ve been to America and New Zealand.  See?  Silly.  Maybe we’ll fix the Europe thing this winter.

7 - I have always wanted to own a horse.  When I was a child, I asked my parents to buy me one for Christmas.  They laughed in my face.  ‘Where do you suppose you’ll keep it?’ they asked.  I thought the balcony was a fine idea. I said it could ride up and down in the lift.  You see, we lived on the eighth floor of a block of flats in the middle of London.  I did eventually learn to ride, and I went riding quite a lot as a teenager.  I also went on riding holidays and I helped exercise a pony kept as a pet by a man in our village.  Now, OH and I are taking Western riding lessons and we’re having great fun!  I’d love to think that one day we might own a horse of our own, but we’re now old and creaky and I doubt either of us could manage the physical labour involved in caring for one.

So, there you have my seven random weird facts. Actually perhaps they’re not so weird, but it’s the best I can do, and I’d like to see who can do better! Therefore, I tag Katherine from The Last Visible Dog (who very kindly found TV Kiwi for me the other day), Jenn from Of Cabbages and Kings, Liz from Finding Life Hard?, Kate from iRamble, Geri Atric from Ageing Ungracefully, Somnambulist from Somnambulistic Ramblings, and Lindsay from Rural Villager, which is a new blog to me, but I like it a lot so far.

Here are the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

You want my opinion of this story?  Andrew Sachs is cool.   Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand are so not cool.

It happened a fortnight ago, but it’s now in the news again because both Ross and Brand have been suspended from their jobs at the BBC pending an investigation, and Brand has now resigned.  Both men have had the grace to apologise - Brand has yet to apologise personally to Andrew Sachs’ grand-daughter - but both have sunk very much lower in my estimation over this classless piece of crap.

Andrew Sachs, on the other hand, could not have been classier.   I’ve always loved him as an actor, and now I admire him even more, as a true gentleman.

At the end of the long interview which he granted to the press outside his house today (a piece of which is in the above link), he turned and said:

“Can I go now?  I’d like to introduce myself to my dogs!”

He can’t even bring himself to be rude to the paparazzi, bless him.