I woke with a killer neck spasm today. A killer. I could hardly life my head from the pillow without my brain feeling as if it was about to explode. I do have a dodgy neck, but this is different, it feels like a genuine muscle spasm and I hope it goes away, very very soon, or woe betide anyone who looks at me funny today.

Meanwhile, I’m seriously lacking in creativity, so I’ll pass along a fun meme from Demob Happy Teacher. I’m not going to nominate anyone because that would take brain-power. Read it or not, as you please. Use it or don’t use it, it’s up to you.

Think of it as interlude music.

My ex… boyfriend, one I had in the early seventies, wanted to marry me. I told him no, he married someone else within six months, and within a year had tried to kill her with a breadknife.

Maybe I should… take some more codeine.

I love… Other Half, my kids, my dogs, my Mum, my friends, chocolate, flowers, reading, making jewellery, photoshop, and Johnny Depp

People would say… I’m untidy. Yep. I am

I don’t understand… cruelty to animals or children or anyone who is vulnerable.

When I wake up in the morning… I am so pleased I don’t have a job to go to.

I lost… a silver crucifix on a chain, set with marcasites and given to me by my Grandmother, while out riding on a heath when I was about fifteen. I still miss it.

Life is full of… pain, right now.

My past is… gone.

I get annoyed when… people don’t listen.

Parties are… only fun if your friends are there.

I wish… this pain in my neck would go away.

Dogs… teach us a lot if we’re willing to learn.

Cats… give me severe hay fever symptoms and affect my breathing.

Tomorrow… maybe this pain will be gone?

I have low tolerance… for stupidity.

If I had a million dollars… I would invest it.

I’m totally terrified… of a lot of things, but not spiders or snakes.

Thank you, Happy Non-Teacher! I needed that today!

Yesterday, a distressing thing happened.

I had an email from the iLap people telling me once again that they couldn’t help me with my problem. You see, a couple of years ago I bought one of these wonderful things. I mean, it really is wonderful. I spend a lot of time using the laptop, and I use it on my lap! Yeah, I know, crazy, huh? And the problem is that they get hot, and then you get hot, and there have actually been reports of people getting burns on their legs (and other parts) from the things. So I bought an iLap, which is a lightweight, angled platform which rests on your lap and provides air circulation for both you and your Mac. Sorry, Windows users, you’ll have to find your own solution!

Anyway. When the iLap arrives, you get four neat little silicone ‘dots’ to stick on it. These provide air space for the computer, and they also stop it sliding forward and ending up in your … um … lap. So, over time, these little dots started sliding forward, very gradually, with the weight of the computer - gravity doing its funky stuff, you know - and eventually came off. I found that even with cleaning and resticking, they didn’t stay stuck, so I contacted the dealer and requested some more, and they told me they didn’t keep them. I wrote back and asked what was I supposed to do, buy a whole new iLap? And the email I got yesterday just said again, we can’t help you, try Rain Design, who actually make the thing. I will do that, and I’ll let you all know what happens.

The most distressing thing is that it’s the second time this has happened lately. I’ve bought a good product, which works really well, but relies on a fairly cheap part to make it work really well, and when that part has failed, I’ve found that it’s not replaceable.

The other thing was a polished wood raised dog feeding station. This thing is designed to hold food and water at a convenient height for tall dogs, who may or may not have neck and/or spine problems. Because it is wood, the stainless steel bowls that are supplied have a rubber ring around the edge which is removable for cleaning. Now, you will gather from the ‘polished wood’ part and the ’stainless steel bowls’ part that this piece of furniture was not cheap. But can I buy replacement rubber rings, now that one has perished and fallen off? No. I cannot.

We live in a disposable society, and that has to change for many reasons. But for crying out loud - when you are left with a perfectly good piece of kit in full working order except for a cheap and easily replaceable component which is, for some reason, unavailable to buy? That just makes me want to smack someone.

My temporary solution to the iLap problem is to glue some cheap and cheerful stick-on pads and cover them with Hi-Tack craft glue. Those are the black things you can see stuck to the iLap in the picture. It works, but it’s ugly.

Update!  A very nice lady from Rain Design is going to put some in the post for me!  Isn’t that nice of her?  Restores my faith in human nature!

We were doing a little tidying up. As usual, I was trying to do several things at once (we women are known to be big on multi-tasking, you know) while OH was, as usual, concentrating meticulously on one task at a time. He’s actually pretty good at housework - even if he does sometimes need reminding how the tumble-drier works.

Anyway. I came into the kitchen at one point and found this.

Now, I know he loves his tea - he really does love his tea - but had it really been that long since he had one?

No. 1 son came round the other night to borrow the sat nav. He told us he was thinking about getting a motorbike again and the conversation turned to protective clothing. He still had his helmet and boots, and a decent pair of bike gloves, but he didn’t have a jacket. Now, I hold a motorbike licence, but it’s been a few years since I rode one, because what with the fibromyalgia and thyroid problem I walk around half asleep most days and that’s kind of dangerous on a bike. So I said he could try my jacket to see if it fitted him, them being unisex and all, and it did. In fact - wouldn’t you know it - it looks better on him than it ever did on me. It’s a black and yellow textile Akito Jacket with lightweight body armour and it made me look like a benevolent wasp. He, on the other hand, looks rather dashing.

‘Wow, it fits!’ he said. ‘Are you sure I can have it?’

Me: Of course, if you promise me not to kill yourself in it.

No. 1 Son: Oh, you want me to die naked?

Me: No … I …

No. 1 Son (interrupting): I suppose being naked on a bike would help with the dying part. Only I have a feeling it’s illegal - after all, I wouldn’t be wearing a helmet.

Smartypants.

If he does kill himself, naked or not, I’ll be really pissed. But he’d be better off wearing the jacket. That way, if he merely topples off gently going round a corner, he might not break his collar bone like his father did.