I think – I really think – that for ABC Wednesday today I will post about one of our most endangered things: England.

It may have escaped the attention of many of my compatriots, but the England we all knew so well and loved so dearly is disappearing.  In fact, England officially no longer actually exists, according to our government.  And that, dear readers, is a situation which has come about without enlightenment or referendum.  It has been done by stealth – legislated away without our consent.  And that is inexcusable.  And see what has happened?  We are beginning to see the flag of England used more and more in some strange and eccentric places.  It used to be the Union Jack (the flag of Great Britain) which was seen most often, now it is the flag of St George.

So today I’m going to  eulogise a little bit about what we do have left of dear old Blighty.

What makes us uniquely English?  Well, it’s hard to say, so I’ve extracted a few examples from my files, to elucidate for you what speaks of England to me.

The first thing, of course, is the ‘Post Office red’ pillar box – and seen together with it in this photo – the telephone box.

The public library is another example of Englishness – the idea was started here way back in 1425 when the first one was opened at the Guildhall, in London.  Isn’t that an eye-opener?  Wow.

Then we have the typically English church and churchyard. Every village had one, at one time.  They were everywhere!  You could navigate your way around the English countryside by the church steeples.

Yes, there is something a little exceptional about that steeple – it has an embonpoint, does it not?   The church has long been a focus of society and local community in England but now even that is being eroded.

This next one is a fun picture -

It was taken during the very English Mid-Lent Fair in Stamford, Lincolnshire – itself a typically English mediaeval town.  Upon egress from this passageway, you might find yourself climbing up onto a fairground ride in error because the whole street is filled with stalls and booths and rides.  When they ban this one on grounds of religious exclusivity, it really will be the end of an era.

What else do I have?  Well, there is this grand and beautiful edifice, which you will find … uh … somewhere in England.  I’m afraid its location has escaped my memory, because we were on our way to an engagement of some kind and it is out of our usual area.  However, what I can tell you is that it is an old coaching house and hotel, probably from the 18th century.

Elegant, isn’t it?  They don’t build ‘em like they used to!  Now, everything is ‘utility’ and often, the least expensive option possible.

Oh, here’s another typically English institution – the village Post Office!

The Post Office in smaller communities is often equipped as a general store and newsagent as well as the place to post mail.  In fact, there is a whole range of services available, including banking, foreign currency exchange, holiday insurance, savings, vehicle and fishing licences, and passport application.  And you can buy a bottle of European wine, too, if you like.  In fact, you can buy a little of almost everything .. and guess what?  The village PO, like so much else, is endangered.  We are very fortunate to still have ours.

Let me leave you with another example of an English institution, the Parish Council.

Here is a sign which educates us about what we are enjoined from doing on this English recreation ground footpath.  Part of me loves the eccentric use of capitalisation, which is a hang-over from bygone days when the salient points of a notice would be emphasised in this way.  On the other hand, this doesn’t explain the capitalisation of the word ‘On’, does it?  I suspect that this is plain empty-headedness on the part of a councillor.

I hope you enjoyed this little meander through my thoughts on England.  For more entertaining ABC Wednesday posts, do examine the lists of participating bloggers at Mrs Nesbitt’s place.

 

Nah.  I’m sure it’s bigger than that.  You’d never get all those houses and stuff in there – let alone the cathedral!

 

 

Posted on July 5, 2011 in Uncategorized by Jay10 Comments »

Let me start by saying I’m one of the laziest people on the planet.

OK, partly that’s due to various health problems, but I’ve never been particular athletic, preferring the couch potato life. I like to pursue my hobbies and interests from a horizontal, or at least 90% angle of repose. There’s an awful lot you can do from a sitting position, as I’m sure you all know – and if I didn’t have dogs I might never use my legs and they’d just wither away from disuse!

So. When one of my oldest friends – an old school friend, the same age as me, dammit – gets off her backside several years running, and actually runs*, I have the greatest respect for her. When she does it for charity, and for quite some distance, I have even more respect. And yes, my conscience twinges, just a little bit, because even though I’m not physically capable of running, I somehow feel that I should make the effort and at least walk … but I won’t, because I’m lazy, and I have a strong aversion to pain and discomfort!

How many of you old mature ladies and gentlemen out there feel like getting up and running a marathon? No? Hmm, I thought not. Join the club. My chosen forms of fund raising are done from a (you guessed it … ) sitting position: sometimes in a chair behind a folding table at a fete or boot sale, sometimes by taking part in an online charity auction and so on.

Occasionally, I fill a sack with unwanted items and take it to a charity shop – by car! Or if I’m feeling really energetic, I might join a street collection team, or a Meet & Greet for the hounds, where I might stand and walk gently around for a few paces, but that’s about the extent of the exercise involved, apart from carrying Sid’s bed and water bottle to the venue!

Or I take the really easy route and toss some coins in a bucket. I have a theory about that, by the way. If you’ve ever held a collecting tin, you’ll realise that 90% people just walk on by without giving you a glance. Now those people probably don’t have a lot of cash to spare, but I bet they wouldn’t miss 10p, which is about 16 US cents, I think, right now. Imagine … out of every 100 people who walk by, if that missing 90% gave 10p, that would be an extra £9, and they’d hardly miss it! Nine pounds isn’t that much, of course, but I stood in Peterborough’s main shopping street recently with Sid and a collecting bucket for the Lincolnshire Greyhound Trust, and on a busy Saturday, easily a thousand people go by in an hour. The place is heaving! My maths is appalling, but surely that would add up to an extra … lemme see … £90 an hour. I was there for three hours, so I would have collected £270 more in my little bucket! I wonder how many hounds that would feed for a week? So, you see what I mean.

Anyway. Back to the main point of this post. Rita will be running* her little legs off this Sunday (the 10th) in the Manchester Race for Life, and so far she’s quite a way short of her target figure of £200, which is an awful pity when you put in so much effort. If anyone fancies easing their conscience in the best possible way, they can find her page here, on Just Giving. And you can sponsor for as much or as little as you like, of course, so remember those collecting tins!**

* Or possibly walking at times … but she’ll still be moving! And upright!!

** Actually the minimum donation is £2, but it’s not really a lot, is it?

TLT-600

Some of you will know by now that my older son has an Italian girlfriend, the lovely T. Not a girlfriend of Italian descent, but one who was actually born in Italy and until a year or so ago, had lived there all her life. It is for this reason that I am struggling to learn the language myself, since it might be nice to be able to talk to the in-laws when we finally meet. Actually, I do converse with G, her mother, via instant messenger and emails in a mixture of imperfect English and terrible Italian, sometimes (confusingly), with German or French words tossed into the mix. But that’s another story.

The lovely T spent Christmas in Italy with her family, and Son No. 1 popped over to Italy to join her for New Year. We picked them up from the airport at midnight when they came home on Tuesday, and yesterday Son No. 1 brought T round so she could open her Christmas gifts from us.

One of her presents was a gift pack of a large jar of Marmite (which she loves) and an egg cup decorated with the famous black and yellow design. Now, to understand the following, you have to realise that while the lovely T’s English is impressively good, there are still some words and idiomatic expressions which escape her.

T (in her delightful Italian accent): Ooooooooooooooh! Marmite!!

OH: You still like Marmite?

T (clutching the box to her bosom): Yes!!

OH: Oh good!

Me: I thought so!

T (Peering into the box): But … ?

OH and Son No. 1 (together): It’s an egg cup.

T: But why is it Marmite? How … ?

OH, Son No. 1 and Me (in a confusing multi-babble): You can make soldiers/you dip soldiers in/you spread Marmite on soldiers …

T: Soldiers???

OH: You dip them in the egg.

Me: The egg has to be soft boiled so the yolk is still liquid …

Son No. 1: You probably need very big eggs.

T: You might just get their head in!

T has a great sense of humour and quickly caught on that this was simply a quaint English expression, not a bizarre ritual involving the armed forces and a pterodactyl egg. And we did (eventually) explain to her that ‘soldiers’ were simply strips of bread and butter which could be dipped into the egg, with or without a thin (or even a thick black oil slick) layer of Marmite.

Luckily, Son No. 1 bought her a book called ‘Spilling the Beans on the Cat’s Pyjamas’ for Christmas which should help her out quite a lot.